cinema enforcers

i came back from the cinema last night seething not because hitman was a let down but more the fat fuck sitting next to me. believe it or not there are so called "cinema purists" or rather cinema enforcers all around the world; to me they are just anal motherfuckers who do not know the definition of a public cinema or hoping to strike 3 gazillion dollars so that they can build their own backyard cinema.

cinema enforcers are fuckers who are on the look out for people disturbing them during the course of the screening, this can be snoring from 2 rows below or above, screaming girls on the left or light from a mobile. i had the unfortunate encounter with one fat motherfucker next to me. Arms folded like he owned the place, moving his big ass frame against the chair just so you know he's fucking uncomfortable. i got news for you pal, i'm just as uncomfortable as you but i dont make a fuss.

so i answered a few text messages, not calls, SMSes ... and lo and behold this fat face in front of me asking "can you please switch off you phone? are you here to watch or to play with your phone?" i know that i am in the wrong and i am but dude, did your mother teach you any fucking manners at all? or did that last burger clog your fucking blood flow to you brain? all you had to do was to ask nicely but no ... so i stared back, confused and puzzled at how a big man like him had such a small pea brain. As bad as he smells, i turned my attention to the film, not wanting to cause a scene.

an hour into the film, his friend was snoring 2 seats away, he propped up and gave the guy a slap. Soon after there were whispers, his friend was talking on the phone, again he propped up but his fat arse prevented him from reaching over. dude, doing that will at least burn 0.01 calorie, believe me it will do your heart good.

not only in malaysia, chloe and me in Aotearoa had the same experience. We were watching "tokyo drift" when an inconsiderate enforcer told chloe to control her laughter because it was disruptive. hello? we're laughing at the film not you! The enforcers not only operate at the cinemas but i got told off during a seminar by madam "im a better designer than you". So discussing about the topic is also prohibited; isn't a seminar 2-way?

so the morale of the story is, we normal citizens and avid movie goers are only supposed to enjoy the movie or a seminar by not moving an inch, frozen like fucking ice and quiet like a sleeping baby (without snoring of course)

go buy your own cinema you fat fuck sitting at GSC MIDVALLEY CINEMA 11 ROW B SEAT 8, you stupid insensitive fuck face.