pre-year end thoughts

on the verge of a stressful week ahead, i ponder how many times have i been thru this. the feeling of anxiety, knowing that you won't be able to control the outcome. this year's been like that for me, the worst being beginning of the year. overcoming that hurdle was a BIG point in my life as i listen to,

yesterday's got nothin' for me
Old pictures that I'll always see
Some things could be better
If we'd all just let them be

then it hits me, axl rose screams ....

I ain't got time to reminisce old novelties

old girlfriends, lovers spats, selfish behaviours, break ups, mash ups what is one to do? if you could look at the book of destiny what would you change? i would change nothing. everything happens for a reason and i know i'm no god to fuck around with the balance. ok back to the point, i think i've been a crying shoulder for 3 or 4 friends this year (myself included)and it's fucking easy to sit across the continent and offer advise until it happens to you. So the solution is cry all you want, blame god all you want, blame yourself all you want, blame everything and after running out of people,things, messiahs to blame ... the hurt's gone, you never move on and you stay still. lost in translation that is. birth - education - love - separation - death. i realise we are here to learn.

we learn to live with our first breath
we learn to walk, talk, move,
we learn emotions - love, anger, fear
we learn commitment - marriage, loyalty, trust
we learn disappointment - separation, betrayal, selfishness
we learn to forgive - acceptance, death, reincarnation

so everything happens for a reason and when i leave this place, i will want to say that i'm a student of life.