There's something about long holidays which everyone likes, i mean c'mon it's a holiday; wiltering away with nothing on your mind except .... work. FUCK. it's been 3 weeks since i went on holiday and this week by far has been the lowest i sunk ever. i hardly stepped out of the confines of the apartment due the weather craziness that has ensued from the weekend; i hardly began any whatsoever work planned and to make matters worse, i've gotten sick.
i've began swearing at my FM2006 administration of league 2 team Leyton Orient, it must be a sight to see as i rage at the computer screen yelling for a text based striker to pass the fucking ball instead of dribbling it. the grammatical constructions of cussing concocted from cantonese and english with a hint of malay words is astonishing. i've so far been sacked from Bristol Rovers (like Alain Perrin of Portsmouth) through no fault of mine <-- hey,i can'thelp it if i have to use reserve players because of injury crisis? what happens next? nothing! i have to begin some form of work.
those wanting to listen at sattrical music, i recommend the bloodhound gang which came to light for me with their single, "Foxtrot Unicorn Charlie Kilo" <-- notice it? it took me 2 seconds to register what i had been humming for 2 minutes on the radio.
there's nothing really on telly, just some mumbo jumbo bullshit i.e. creative nz head blowing his horn that the world is fascinated with the creativity in NZ because there's always something "new" created. ehm. and what would be that? alas without pete jackson, roger donaldson and andrew adamson, NZ would still be lulling over the discovery of freak sheep dubbed "Shrek". there's nothing "new" in NZ except in the country name. To state that countries are snapping up kiwi ARTS graduates is totally outrageous as he definetley has not seen the state of the "whatever" attitude assignments handed to me recently. for fucks sake, don't publicise that you have a 12" dong when it's only 5. on the flipside however, there are talented kiwis abundant but the generalisation of "snapping up kiwi graduates" was a little too harsh for me to swallow.
there is a christmas ad which takes the mickey out of kiwi blokes for being too self centered to go christmas shopping. the bloke pulls up at a hardware store drive thru, speaks into the box, "i need a gift for my wife, something for a 2 year daugther ...." he ends up with some gifts and a barbeque pit for himself. and he drives off. ironically this idea doesn't stray far from your actual average NZ male as a matter of fact it's not merely a dramatisation, it's for real. a peek at the parking lot on the weekends will prop up at least 70% of the cars parked have a human in them ---> the husband reading a newspaper or the husband sleeping. in retrospect, the wife is more than happy to leave her husband snoring into a wet dream heaven or in the sauna comforts of his automobile. This doesn't end at groceries, as a matter of fact it applies to any form of shopping except DIY supplies, John Deere and automotive exhibitions. Sorry mates, but my mum stopped buying me underwear when i discovered that white briefs with holes weren't the "IN" thing. The retailers tried a stunt which made me grin quite a bit, they setup stalls at a pub to entice the men to buy their wives a christmas gift. can you see it?
beer - looking through lingerie? - beer - hmm nice knockers - beer - hey,jono!this better than playboy and it's free - beer- can i keep the brochure?- beer - uhm, what were you selling again? - beer - walks to the perfume counter - beer - hmm, this perfume smells like me pint! - sir,that's your burp -
honey i went for a beer and got you some laces from agent provocateur.
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