Manic Monday

it's monday again.

as i recall my past week, i stumble upon a conversation i overheard in the pool sauna just last week. there's really nothing much to do in a sauna as your sweat glands open up and you profusely drip salty moisture from you body. so i follow Mark (not his real name though he looks like a mark) and Peter (not his real name either) already lying on the wooden panels. Mark lies next to me as i sit straight up looking at when my 15 minutes of 'hell' is going to end. Mark notices Peter and they start talking about swimming and laps they do. Then mark decides to mention the pills he had to take, blah blah, morphine, blah, blah ... whoa there .. fuckin morphine?!? .. you're either a glorified junkie or there's a chronic pain (i.e. cancer) that just won't go away and it's bloody unbearable. (reminds me when i had shingles, fuckin hell).

now i became semi-interested, because it's very painful to hear people taking morphine. I knew someone who had to take it in order to bear with cancer pain and it's no laughing matter. So why is Mark taking morphine? because he has a broken spine. fuckin hell?!? how the heck is he even standing up? so apparently it happened during his hey days and someone (no names) knees him from the back and ever since then (12 years ago) he can't sit as we normally, he would have to rest on one cheek to alleviate the pain. Then Peter goes,"fuckin hell, i was once in a violent attack at Broadway(not the musical but a shopping centre in Newmarket)" then Peter goes on ... blah blah blah ... which isn't really exciting but in summary he chases some punks for stealing and one turns and picks a bottle, smashes him over the head.

within 15 minutes in a public sauna, i hear 2 stories of violent nature, one life threatening and i fuckin have to walk home after this? So really, is there any point to this story? well yes. i've avoided confrontation from past to present. School gangs wanna tear me up because i looked at them funny, why did i look at them funny because i refused to partake in their friendship/camaderie not because i didn't like them but i failed to see the reason why i needed to be in a gang who fights when commanded to. I've taken a lot of slack from those guys but i refused to clench my fist not because i was afraid (maybe just a little) but was there any point in fighting? or was it unusual for someone like me to operate against the grain and not behave like a dog of war.

i still stand by my decision to always walk away from confrontations unless i'm starting it of course. * how fitting, tonight on TV3 is David Fincher's 'fight club'*