WANT

i've just gotten of IM with an ex-student of mine; we were in a debate over her chosen or her choice of education. She wants to be a film maker, She wants a British education and She wants to be in the UK. i contested at the mere fact that the British style of film-making can be replicated anywhere in the world. The mere style of which you make your film largely reflects on films you watch and influenced from. Then she asked me " why do you want a reason?", she carried on to say "sometimes we do what we WANT, and we don't need justification"; i replied " just don't want to see you throw everything away from a decision you hardly know you want" ...... "it's funny, you don't know me well enough to say that i might throw everything away" ....

i was dumbfounded.

you know... she's right! i don't know her that well, why the fuck would i ask her for a justification? do i believe that for every action anyone takes, there needs to be reason? for her, reason seems meaningless. she's gonna do it because she WANTS to do it.

WANT is such a strong word, maybe because all my life i've always WANTed things but harsh reality is you need to work for it. i've seen young-uns WANT a simple life, they're willing to scarifice fucking up education, to live a care free life - WANT has a pretty serious cousin NEED .. the young-uns parents NEED to work doubly hard to keep everyday provisions.

i left our conversation pretty much as is, im not offended by her remarks. what she said was true - i've jumped over the line. she has made her aspirations known, its what she WANTS and NEEDS to do. she'd go a long way and she has my support all the way.

But till she finally makes a decision, i WANT learn to build a car. i think i'll go to ITALY. ARRIVEDERCI.