_daily+birdpoo

why ol' foggers won't understand you

2011-09-04T11:00:00.002+08:00

http://www.hetemeel.com/einsteinform.php

i like to think that i've seen a lot, heard a lot and certainly did a lot. i came from a education background that forbade me to question and accept what was dished out by teachers in front of the blackboard. The suppression made me promise never to do such if ever i had the opportunity. Opportunity knocked 11 years ago.

how i got into education was somewhat farcical; i was with a dotcom as was everyone else during the dotcom boom. Many won't know this but a dotcom have severely BIG overheads as such you would normally get your local unscrupulous 'china'man abusing the money given by corporations to develop web apps so instead of spending on official licenses, he buys a new fucking 2 door benz SLK much to the dismay of his staff. So the day came when green eyed envy became hatred in a form of retaliation. The enforcement came in the height of the dotcom boom to check if legitimate software was used; long story cut short, i was earning full pay by just chilling out at the RSGC pool. *bliss*

not everyone has an ability to look ahead, but it really doesn't need a genius to tell you that even after selling his benz, he wouldn't be able to recoup the trust in corps as once you fuck up consider that your "go to jail" card without passing GO. So as i was chilling at the pool contemplating my next move on the life chess board, i received a phone call. hey it's my old school. right did i not pay my fees, im sure i did and not spend it all on that brick of hash.

scott whiteside asked a question which today i still ponder upon ........

"do you want to use your skills at your alma mater?"

my first thought was what? and become some old foggy in front of a board? then reality hit me. if the dotcom comes a crashing (which it will) i'll spend another 2 years looking for a job which i did during the 97' crash. i need to carefully thread this; will the kids like me? aren't i too young to teach? what do i have offer? and then it hit, what if they think that im teaching because i can't 'do'. scott was waiting for an answer............but i haven't done it before ...........................

.....
....
...
..
.

yes, i'll give it a try

so entering class for the first day, i saw some faces questioning what i had been thinking. My first words then and now have never changed. "welcome back everyone, "my name is Mr. J and i will be your ..... facilitator but you don't have to call me SIR". (blinks eye) has it been 10 years already? i've lost count of all the classes but i still remember faces not names anymore. How things have changed but i still remain optimistic about what i said i'd do; i will not teach but facilitate learning.

As i switched to a supposed greener pasture, i realise not many subscribe to this idea of facilitation. i regularly retreat to the staffroom only to hear groaning and moaning from the older set determined to teach and not facilitate. Many are still saying the same thing they did 10 years ago.

"these students come in 30 minutes late, it's so irritating, i wish i can lock the door".
"i've repeated this over & over again, still in the exam they can't write the same definition"
"why are these students so daft"
"you failed because you're not up to standard"
"i talk you listen"
"i don't have to tell you why it's wrong, it just is"

what we have here is failure not on the part of the student but teacher-lecturer-facilitator. We are still stuck in that suppression, change the method before the method changes you. Many old schoolers maintain control in the class and gawk at how i release almost all control to students; classes are no longer one way communication, it's time to evolve as with the media of our world. I learn from students and students learn from me; it's never only one way.

relinquish some your control and you'd get better response in class
Learn to listen rather than shut off. You'll get more ideas on how to approach them
Adopt or Perish. you are forcing a square peg into a round hole, the more you force, the more scarring happens
They are adults not children; which is why they pay you to help them achieve something better in life NOT mould them into your old ways
It's about a balance not only your convenience or their convenience.
Respect comes from you first then you'll get buckets load after.

My school of thought maybe hard to swallow but like craig charles said

"It's evolve or die, really, you have to evolve, you have to move on otherwise it just becomes stagnant."

Today the problem is you!

2011-07-29T22:34:00.000+08:00

i know i complain a lot about gen Y and i'm not gonna stop.

There are a couple of things i've wanted to get off my chest but i didn't until today. Of course stale news being better than no news, Amy Winehouse passed on OR as some gen Yer's so gently put it pumped shit and clogged it so she could end her miserable life. i refer to a FB status i came across ...

"Amy Winehouse is dead? I am so shocked. I totally did not see how an alcoholic drug junkie could wind up like that. Let's all have tributes now and say how much we actually cared about her all along. She's not Michael Jackson. Not in talent and not in integrity. Don't give her that much credit."

You fucking insensitive dipshit; firstly yes she is a junkie and an alcoholic but what made you a physic to be able to peer thru her life as though yours was any better, mommy's boy? Comparing her to Michael Jackson, yeah a bleached black man with a falling nose junked up on meds; talent wise, she didn't have grab her crotch or sleep with children. I don't endorse the shit she pumped in herself but i respected her talent and for you question her integrity almost makes you sound like you have none, you moralistic cunt. So before you judge others, please look at yourself gen Yer.

Gen Y: the fucking problem is us

2011-06-08T23:55:00.002+08:00

If you haven't already noticed or known that i work with a lot of gen Y; whilst i'm always patient but up till recently it seems my patience has depleted. but there is plenty wrong with gen Y, so if you would let this old man from the gen X tell you a thing or two, it would be my pleasure to give the low down on why the only way you would succeed is to own your business.

1. the social network, uipdated 5 seconds ago.
all the talk about social networking in front of the computer and how we don't need to meet 'real' people in order to get business done. honestly would you rather get fat in your lazy boy in front of your alienware munching on the double big mac you ordered on mcdonalds.com.my using the latest HTC on android gingerbread? you would need to stop here if you did not comprehend any of the terms used. that's just it isn't it. i asked once before in class, why do you even need me when i'm up here blabbering and you guys are on facebook chatting with the girl next to you in class about how fucking boring the class is? it's true i don;t need to there and you can google right about anything nowadays. so why do i stay on? because there's just one thing a machine can never teach you; how to look at a person in the eye and tell his/her story just by the way her mannerism is in class. human communication was never meant to be on machine to machine. why type 20 to 30 emoticons in a chat window when all you wanted to say was i love you? are those 3 words so difficult to utter; typing i <3 u makes it easier? do we really mean what we type? i reckon so. you beg to differ? then tell me how many workhours you've wasted typing sentences that basically didn't mean anything at all?

Gen Y purists beg to differ; stating that i merely do not understand their lifestyle. What lifestyle is sitting behing a machine? A social network means meeting people, laughing, drinking and just chatting till wee hours. how sad would it be if you asked me for a drink. a virtual drink? can you get drunk on a virtual drink, stumble and do stupid things that your friends will still talk about for the next 10 years.

2. any shortcuts?
if you ask for shortcuts in life, essentially you might as well take a shortcut to end life as well. the purpose of shortcuts is to make time work for you. The problem happens when the question arises can i take a shortcut through life; i heard this " i want to fast forward my life 20 years so i do not have to work for a living; it's so 1980s. Well your parents who worked to put that silver spoon in your mouth probably didn't want to fast forward in missing out 20 years of your life. Experiences defined us; you cannot google the experience of getting your first paycheck and blowing it on a car or a dinner or a hand bag. The way education is setup, you 'earn'the degree not shortcut through it why? because we're not teaching you what is in the books but to steer you in a direction that realises your potential.

Gen Y argument: why spend 4 years getting a PHD when you can google everything? to feel proud of an achievement is a feeling that goes beyond having 5000 friends on facebook.

3. the complain society
when i studied or worked, i have never questioned not because i was not inquisitive but i understood hierarchy and i respected seniority. yes i've complained so has everyone but i do it through a proper channel not hiding through an IP address on facebook and feel massively triumphant that i had 1000 likes to my complain. this of course stems from the fact that many Gen Yers lack the human communication skills of talking to each other that they feel extremely 'powerful' when complaining on a social network or a blog. the superiority over a noob especially someone older gives an authoritarian feeling of power. well only if you are complaining about things worth talking about and most of the time we'd have to filter thru complaints that you hate HTML coding because it's so difficult and nerdy without realising that your facebook page uses HTML.

if i could sum up everything i've seen over the past years - the gen Y are merely whiners in a complain society living in a sheltered society fearing for their lives; afraid to meet people in fear that they'll be shunned upon. They are opinionated for all the wrong reasons; willing to stand up for environment but unwillingly to learn new things but choose to whine about it online.

a year to date

2011-04-07T22:13:00.019+08:00

a year to date, it still hurts like a plunging knife into the gall bladder. moving on has not been easy, when the heart still pines for what it is missing. but a year has passed and the heart grows colder, harder and blacker than the that heart shaped rock you stepped on. it feels like a lifetime. regrets accounts for nothing when time stands still. will we revisit next year. i do not think so. see you.

aww shucks

2011-02-03T10:53:00.001+08:00

Sept 22, 2010 seemed a long time away; and i never even wished whatever readers i have left (wishful thinking) a happy new year. So i thought the right opportunity would be on the first day of Chinese New Year.

-------------
RANTS FIRST
-------------
I have a rather large bone to pick with elderly colleagues prying into love lives of others; particularly when the culprit is of the "senior citizen" category. Yes, i guess i'm lonely but it doesn't mean i'm desperate. When people interfere and pose a question,"you have to choose between X and Y" not only did you as a human being make a major fuckup but please evaluate your own situation. I can only imagine the awkwardness the poor girl would have felt because not only was it intrusive but shameful because i was never interested in her. i treat all female counterparts the same that one could mistaken to be a sign of interest but nevertheless i never signalled interest. If this is a sign of aging, then i fear for myself because at 55, i really don't want to be a bitch.

So if you're approaching the retirement age of 55 with your virginity still intact; please concentrate on being poked yourself and leave my love life to me.

[still on the same culprit] i've met many different people in this life - friends, enemies, pretenders, dickless bullies, over-powering zealots, too creative for their own good, opinionators, slackers, softies aka weepers, BIG talkers not doers [the list goes on] but today i add another. eccentric scanters if you do not understand then read on ....

A scanter .....
if you've had the privilege to ride everyone else's car except [insert name]
if you've had opportunity to visit everyone else's home except [insert name]
if you are offered a home cooked meal but [insert name] will only cook at your home
if [insert name] travels to a mall 10 mins away but opts to travel 2 hours to get a FREE shuttle
if [insert name] goes for everything when only entitled for one
if [insert name] won't drive home yet because the road is still wet

then [insert name] is a scanter; what makes him or her eccentric is the reasoning.

An eccentric scanter
i don't allow people to ride in my car because i've parked in a prime spot
i don't allow people to visit my house because there's nothing much to see
i will cook in your house because i don't want to dirty mine
it's free and i have all the time, so why not?
it's free and i'm entitled to all as an employee. the company owes me more
i take care of my car, heck i don't even wind my window down because my car is dust free

GONG XI GONG XI
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

when friends are no longer friendly

2010-09-22T17:29:00.061+08:00

i had left this in the edit window and forgot about it till today. This was supposed to be a 4th September post. i met my friend during the 2000's when she was lecturing at the same place. i found that she was quite exceptional, radical and very blunt. We hardly said hello or goodbye but knew of our presence. fate would have it that one graduation at KLCC we would be sitting within talking distance and we naturally bitched about having to work on saturday and not doing anything productive.

As history would have it, that she was best friends with the guy that my then girlfriend went out with. There was tension, there was mystery and there was animosity. I didn't try to notice, care nor bother about her life with the fags, drinks and boys.

i recently met her at a new place and a newer environment; naturally she forget my name but i always remembered. We talked on her first day and after a week of being friendly; i gave up. exasperated and annoyed. the conclusion is simple, if a person doesn't want to be friends then why fucking bother?

she may try her best to say "hello" but then why fucking bother.

she may try to be friendly with your roomates but then why fucking bother.

she may try to have things her way and you think otherwise but then why fucking bother.

she may drop hints that it's a reflection of who you are but then why fucking bother.

it's just too fucking bothersome to be friends with her.

Can you really get a minister?

2010-08-06T18:10:00.001+08:00

Me and my nosey character received a bashing today not because i deserve it but rather i was on the way to the toilet. It seems that for me going to toilet always ends me up in some form of fucked up situation. Today's scenario beats the shit out of everything. There was family looking for the directory list so i casually asked err you looking for .. SNAP .. are you this Mr. So & So.

.really.

did i need to get involved in this? so i answered no. Then he goes on about how it is to find this person. He uttered, "It's easier to get a minister than this person on the phone. WHAT ATTITUDE IS THIS?

.whoa. whoa. did the voice just get louder?

Then this got splat out, "WHO IS THIS SO FUCKING SPECIAL"

.no did we have to bring out the F word in public?. seriously. with your daughter and wife tagging along? no doubt you may drive a Mercedes as he did so clearly threw his key onto the table. no doubt you own a company and can invite a minister to officiate whatever the fuck you are doing. no doubt you can afford pretty expensive luxuries to state your wealth. but really did he have to lower himself to curse another person he doesn't even know? it pretty much said he has a dirty mouth and too small of a mind to even try to comprehend cleaning it.

but on to inviting ministers, please ... inviting minister is nothing special. Just because ministers are in the limelight most of their dirty political career, everyone thinks highly of someone who can call minister a friend but really all they are at home is the same of farting soiled Y front jockey wearing pot bellied sambal belacan you can find surfing porn at the kampung. So motherfucker, you should really come back down from your nasi lemak heaven and be contented that you like many of us idiots have to wait in line.

Trumpet Blowing

2010-07-29T20:32:00.002+08:00

This my friends is one of the most fucked up buttons ever. wny emailers use them is beyond me. do i need to know that everyone is thanking you for winning best smile in the faculty? NO. talk about netiquette. think about it, if you wouldn't want strangers to know your dirty laundry (aka secrets) why the fuck would you reply to all? It only shows you either want to suck up or want people to fuck you up. Strangely enough only so-called doctors (aka PHD) press this button. So i guess it's true, hot air trumpet blower.

Crash Boom Bang

2010-07-20T16:57:00.005+08:00

i stand by my stance that almost all bike riders are fuckin idiots especially ones with compartments at the side, dressed up like fonzie sweating in the malaysian heat. and especially the ones who maneuver through traffic; well hey lemme reiterate, having a bike doesn't mean you can weave in and out of traffic. oh i'm sorry is the bike too fast, that your brains are now in your testicles? In that case i hope no no no ... i wish that when you crash your crotch rocket, it'll leave an indentation on the tank so we can all laugh at how small your balls (oops sorry brains) are and kiss your genetical generation goodbye. fuckin idiots.

kapow-ed

2010-07-18T21:02:00.001+08:00

ladies and gentlemen,

if there is one thing i learnt, it is don't fuck with anyone (male or female) who holds the titles chief operating officer. the last time i did, i ended up warming my bed for at least 6 months. the story goes, i was young and naive; working in a job i loved and had a boss whom i looked up to. however the boss wasn't exactly straight laced and behind every deal he made, he almost made sure there was some to cover the pockets. i guess that's why we liked him because the cash would never stop coming in. As i rose amongst the ranks to number 2; the figures got BIGGER and i knew he was bound to be found out. True enough he got called and well ...handshake and he was off.

in came a new bloke which i shouldn't fault as the new guy was working against the blocks. so i called it in and threw in the towel. The then newly appointed COO called me in, drank some beers, told him i wanted to leave and after the dust had settled, i left. not without fuckin it up; i sent a mass fax to all dealers about the shit gone on and how fucked up the whole shithouse is. Then next morning i had a call from the COO, shouting match and slamming of phones. next thing i know i was eating out of a box for the next 6 months. wrong fuckin move son.

i regretted that terribly. what can i say? i was young.

fast forward to today, i saw a mass email regarding some issue at work and true it enough it just took mere seconds for the COO to respond with a "i would like to know the purpose of XXX sending out a mass delivery ...." all i can say is ....

to say im not sympathetic, i am but everybody's gotta learn someway, somehow. i am sure she will wish she can turn back the clock and not click that "reply to all" button or swear where there were such things as emails.

but one thing is for certain .... i sure ain't gonna feel the brunt for this.

Snailing through

2010-07-14T23:37:00.003+08:00

I don't think much explanation is needed. Internet speeds are supposed to be FAST-er not SLOW-er; please TMNET do something before you become DUMB-er.

It's bad enough that the lines are capped and port shaped; now i have to deal with disconnects every bloody 20 minutes. i sure miss the TRUE internet speeds of NZ.

From the pits of doom to the gnawing jaws of a tenderiser

2010-07-11T09:58:00.006+08:00

i recently caught a glimpse of a colleagues pits unintentionally, i mean i have nothing against hairy pits especially when all of us are born with hair between the joint naturally to ease friction. nowadays due to consumerism, it is almost unseen that a woman should appear out with hairy pits; tsk tsk humanity, one should be able to rock out if women decide not to shave, does it make un-womenly if she doesn't shave and let it rock out? i say heck with it all appearance is subject to the subject itself; if he/she doesn't want to shave, so be it! the person should not be chastised for it as long as their partners are OK with it.

so it brings me to my next story, for weeks i've been tormented by the sight of a slacker dickhead; so naturally this week i should not hold back on stories about him. A group of 7 went for lunch last week, to which a plate of juicy and tender lamb appear. Mr.Slacker opened his mouth to say, it is unnatural to have lamb this tender and preservatives in the tenderiser will kill you whilst stuffing his pie hole with the meat (talk about hypocrisy). Someone please tell this dickhead that if meat tenderisers were bad then we would have to stop eating papayas, pineapples and lemons because they were the key ingredients in the meat breakdown. I almost laughed my head silly when he opened his trap grabbing the last piece, to which i say the statement already made you dumber and slower than you already are and please go bury yourself in a faceful of pits.

*Image from "http://image51.webshots.com"

Case of the missing Dr.

2010-07-04T21:29:00.004+08:00

In the summer 69' a fresh naive mind happened to walk into campus and no marketing person is able to openly lie about courses; when marketing has no where else to turn to, maybe you try and hire .... pfftt. Working on Sundays is usually blissful, no one disturbs you, the birds are chirping, the weather's nice but of course you're stuck in the duty and not wanting to waste time, you try to mark 20 papers.

i always have the utmost pleasure of being on duty with a certain Dr. with whom i've mentioned likes to ahem disappear. So i get in at 1030 in the morning and i see her there trying to fix her comp up. i wish her the customary good morning (ya see im such a snob after all) and she asks me if i know how to connect to the WIFI.

{ahem} do i fuckin look like ICT to you? to which i replied um no, you gotta call ICT i dunno.

So i set about doing my thing till noon. Feeling guilty, i wanted to go over and just have a little chat. problem is i can;t find her. HELP!!!! Dr's missing. Someone ... whooo... ICT kidnapped an Assoc. Prof. oh wait maybe, ICT are aliens from the planet Zuba and they want all the best minds to rebuild their planet.

Fuck it.

watched a movie and sat outside. why bother with Dr. this and that when you can't even spend some of your precious time, talking to prospective candidates or you're rushing to buy tickets at the senior citizen lane?

moral of the story: never force people to do something they don't wanna do; because all they do is verbally rape you afterwards.

Note: of course i have another story about the arrogant 'bin laden' whom i helped earlier on when we shifted in but ever since he got his Dr. the nose is higher up in the air and never looked down. Of course the downside to that is, he trips and falls. stupid motherfucker.

Image from http://canarypapers.wordpress.com

Happy Birthday America!

i had live commentary ... from dungu himself

2010-07-03T17:21:00.004+08:00

just as oranje avoided a potential banana skin slip; i narrowly thought that i was in south afrika last night.

a group of us converged at a local eatery to watch holland take on brazil yesterday; yes i do have live coverage at home but i just wanted the experience of .... being in SA perhaps? however i was treated to local commentary sitting just by the side of me, who had the privilege to be my bosses friend.

it went a little something like this (this was all him) all of us were quiet.

ah ... fleekick-ah
woi ..faul ah ...leflee ciak lui
ah kaka .. woo nice ah ..suuut ..SUUUUT
aiyah

(a few minutes later)
woh woh ...mai cong ah ..
MAI CONG ... suuut
ah cho ham mik?

robinlo .. ah pass kaka ..pass mai cong ...aiyo ... horlan counler ...

woo woo counler lobben
waaah lobben nice ah swee ah

(after holland had equalised, and here i thought he was a brazil fan?)

it's fun to have over excited fans around you, to make you feel special because all eyes are on you. funny thing is we're watching the same match and im seeing the same thing, maybe he thought we couldn't see. thanks dude!

smells like ..... a slacker

2010-06-30T21:24:00.006+08:00

after a day of serious no bullshit marking, i was ready to head on home. i hit the down button and patiently wait for the elevator to arrived wishing and hoping that it would one day open the doors and a typical 50'steque brunette in a bunny suit whisper, "good evening, going .... {long pause as she wets his lips} down?" snap outta vit, outta vit! too much steven tyler. So i went in there were 2 northern african dudes, unmistakable after what i've been thru the last 3 years.

{sniff}
{sniff}
thinking to myself something is not right here
{sniff}
oh fuck! one of these dudes needs serious deodorant. i mean quick, i almost choked from holding my breath.

it's amazing most of us don't really know how we smell (i so fucking paranoid that i keep asking people if my pits smell) then we have fuckers who are oblivious to that fact that lunch was a combined effort of 10 bucks per person but yet never paid and ate a whole lot and best part of all, walked off with an unopened bottle of sprite. shame on you, amazing how he never dragged his feet when the bottle was lying below the pizza untouched. hmm funny that.

every office needs to have a dipshit sitting next to you; this is a constant reminder that the roses you smell at home is far better than the shithole next to you.

{pause}

2010-06-10T17:41:00.004+08:00

what is there not to hate about slackers?

a couple of days ago i was asked a question that puzzled me. my two immediate bosses asked me, "do you have a personal rivalry with this person?" as blunt as i was i mentioned, "no". All we have is a hello and goodbye relationship, nothing fancy.

then they probed a little deeper, "did he go after your girlfriend". Now this i {paused}. how did i become so readable and predictable? did i let something go? did it show on my face? i was trying to recall what i did to have spotlight on me.

after 5 seconds had passed, i mentioned that he did try; they burst into laughter and lamented "so you won". the case in point, happened 2 years ago when i started going out with my now ex and she mentioned that he tried to make his move on her. that so be it, had nothing to do with my so called rivalry with the him.

my qualm with this person stems from him slackernerdness attitude he possesses. i had knew him since working in Taman Mayang, heck he was supposed to replace me @ certain subjects. slowly but surely we all found out that this chum was nothing but a hoax who could do neither this nor that. Situation got a little weird when even my tutor far superseded him. i left before i could burst a blood vessel talking about him.

when i came back from NZ, i was surprised that he left for the UK to do his Masters and actually got it. so i figured that he may actually have learnt something. a year ago, i joined the same university he currently ply his trade in. things haven't changed one bit actually he has gotten worse.

you can tell a lot from the way a person walks, talks and behaves. When someone drags their feet, always thinks of a way to upstage you, refuses responsibility; there's only two words to say it all motherfuckin slacker.

how can a person go through life believing that he can do nothing and live the high life. i totally despise people of such nature; why cower when you can supposedly do the same things i can? i am reminded of the phrase "all words no action equals hot air". i've said over and over again, i hate Dr wannabes because of this.

so yes i don't talk much with people of such nature because it is a waste of my time and his. water and oil. cat and dog. whatever you wanna call it; it is completely the same as asking your partner to work whilst you enjoy the fruits of her/his labour.

that to me, my friends has got to be one of the most fucked up attitude to adopt.

how to catch the worm and not be early

2010-05-22T10:36:00.004+08:00

the past couple of weeks have been a mixture of anti-socialism mixed in with loads of racist hatred least amongst work colleagues and drivers of a certain kind. it's kinda semiotic how 2 have merged into one in my mind that is only half full mind you. it's best not to take this sentiments of post to heart because this pahse that i am going through only denotes my lack of confidence into what is perceived in my fragile heart and soul.

let's take me back to 2 weeks ago, when what pissed me off was not the matter of doing work but how people evade work by pushing it over to you. A seminary concept we call "taichi" because the movement of hands, slowly shifting to the left and right never towards self. As a young foreigner that she was, i would not have expected her to practice this tradition of cowardly gratification but alas she did. What makes it all strange is that i don't think she did anything useful at all but asking to leave early because she had to catch the bus. i was told to "look out" for her, deceptive as that meaning is, i thought looking out was to protect her little did i know it was to watch out for her. Ah the English language so peculiar yet deceptive. the situation plays so well in my head ....

In a group meeting, when everyone is deciding the next step forward ...
S: so maybe J can do the online thingy with the registration
J: again?
S: J's capable of doing it, i'm sure he can
J: (fuckin hell, you are a Master graduate holder teaching IT and you can't do online? is this a joke?)
C: we'll just print them out
S: gotta go, need to catch the bus. bye.
J: looks at watch (it's only 2pm, dammit!

Then i realised what has been missing at this while, i don't really blame her after all it is inate in her culture and tradition to fuck me over like all rubber tappers do.

the next couple of days was just filled with a quiet silence because not only do i refuse to talk to a squirming toad, i just needed to complete my work. I don't harbour any malice because i know work is work and there is no place for fuckin politics at work for me. I've never been interested in politics either in the world nor at the workplace. if she believes in squirming off early to sleep at home then so be it.

As i prepare for work the next day, i am faced with yet another kind resolve. The way to work is filled with stressful traffic mostly die dickheads who cut into you path. As i make the u-turn, the small kancil stops at the side the pick up passengers. So naturally what does the driver behind so? make a pass. Unfortunately the 3 idiots in the car seem to think the spot is reserved for them. As i pass they shout, and when they pass a second time, they show me the finger.

ok. i admit i was wrong to pass ONLY because i had to see your fucked up nasi lemak selling faces and had to categorise all of them under in-grates who's crime is to fuck their own children. I have never hidden my disgust for your kind especially when you rape your own grand-daughters only to show up in court with a pretentious religious epiphany by wearing a songkok. So to that 3 fuckers in the white kancil off PJS7 u -turn; see you in hell, nice to hear your screams when you have a fucking fireball up your arses.

a society of complain-ers

2010-04-22T20:04:00.005+08:00

I hate my college, buy so many MacPro and iMac 27" with snow leopard and Adobe CS4, but always spoil, the mouse everything, and never give us free softwares where we need to use for assignment,but computing school get free OEM Win7 for each person .....

no i didn't write this, it was posted on FB as a status. we, ladies & gentlemen are looking at the next generation of whiners and complain-ers. it doesn't seem odd at all, as a matter of fact the same thing is happening to this country.

the gap widens every generation, my grandfather/mother worked his arse off only to lose everything during the war, my mum/dad worked like worker ants for us, i swore to open up my eyes and soak up the modern western world and as the children of my generation grow they become so accustomed to freedom of opinions we have the next generation who will whine and complain because they feel they deserve everything.

the answer to the question is simple, nothing is free even if you think it is. truth be told, happiness is what you have in front of you; realistically speaking, even if you had the fastest computer with all the free software, you're still a dimwit if you don't know how to use them.

Issues of the ♥

2010-04-05T16:37:00.003+08:00

i had just come off from a relationship of 3 years yesterday; 4 days before her scheduled birthday and i feel desolate, lost, empty and hollow as how someone would feel after a relationship.

i needed to do it for many reasons; but priority was her happiness and as usual i felt i did not give her just that. A friend told me once, "you're still the same, always looking out for other people and not yourself. When are you going to make yourself happy?"

issues of the heart is a strange matter; for once in my life i am listening to my head rather than my heart. It is strange to love a person so much that you are oblivious to your surroundings and whatever you did wrongfully; so then the mind takes over to keep you in check. i rarely listen to my head, i listen more to my heart. It made me sentimental, insecure and spontaneous; very bad combination of 3.

so now that it is over and both of us are recovering, recuperating and rediscovering. i have no idea what the future holds for me; if i would ever fall in love again but till then i am accepting possible resumes for deliberation with one condition - you will need to mend this broken heart.

emote

2010-03-23T17:07:00.002+08:00

i've been exuding emotive sadness lately due to troubles at home and in love. can't help it if one is an emotional being. The past few days i have been slugging it out with the magic 8 ball; constantly asking it why, why not and will we? often extending to who and then succumbing to sadness again.

this morning after took the cake; i started to search for matchmaking agencies and depression forums; as i look back i do feel a little better, the regularity sadness still persists but maybe there is hope yet for this recovering addict of the magic 8 ball. Shall i ask the questions again ....?

Life tokens

2010-03-20T14:43:00.008+08:00

"i think i've overused my tokens with GOD to the point where listening isn't an option anymore so heartache ensues"

since my younger days, i seeked redemption everytime something shitty happens, refusing to blame myself rather looking upward to the sky. i ask what is this shit happening? what had i done in my past life to deserve this crap? today here as i type; a 37 year old barely anything to his name, depleting finances and contemplating meaning of life; i ask the same question again.

it seems far fetched when i was 15+, i had everything planned out - love, success and a fairytale ending. So fuckin far the planning went; again i blamed the upper authority for my lack of "getting off the couch" to make the plan. Still then i expected everything to drop in front of me just because i begged and wished for it.

A fortune teller once told me, i'd achieve greatness when im 38 onwards and i'd have everything i want. err yeah well. he also mentioned that i had a childhood which wasn't great and i agree. my childhood was plagued with nothing that went smoothly from bullies to studies. so much so after 37 years, i still can't really understand why and look upwards again.

By now love has become more of a chore than bliss; to say i am unlucky in love it wouldn't fit the bill. I had loved my ex-wife for 5 years and currently am still in love with my current girlfriend for 3 years but it seems i am headed in the direction of solitary once again. Maybe Morrissey says it better than me ...

I was wasting my time
Trying to fall in love
Disappointment came to me and
Booted me and bruised and hurt me
But that's how people grow up

for all the times that i chose to blame, lambasted anger and questioned the sky upward; it only resulted in a careless misrepresentation of faith. i guess it is time to look into the dark shadows of puddled water to see the reflection; yes it is me living in this world not GOD.

-----------------
image retrieved from http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg7/heavenly_angellourdes/praying-hands.jpg

welcoming the year of the pussycat with chocolate shaped hearts

2010-02-14T08:53:00.003+08:00

sarcastic cynicism aside, the beginning of the tiger year on February 4th 2010 has hardly been a pussycat at all. let's see, a friend departed to be with the BIG family (RIP Aizati Aziz), i mis-planned and under-budgeted my finances for the year 2010 still thought i was earning BIG bucks), need to sell off my car before my father ruins it (painfully staked into my heart), constantly needing to be loved (not independant).... So all and all, it hasn't really been a successful roaring start i wished for, on the down it may be the sleeper year i'm going to face. Sleeper years are years where i'd just rather be asleep than whatever it is that i have to do.

however let that not detract everyone from having a blast this year. The tiger year can either be fuckin mean to you (angry tiger) or a tame pussycat just wanting pat on his/her head. whichever way we look at it, we have 10 more months till the change of the English calender new year so carpe diem

Murid murid, hari ini kita akan belajar .....

2010-02-06T09:19:00.003+08:00

Encik Luqman & the MIM (motherfuckin Idiotic Man) monument

im sure everyone has met encik luqman or rather his viewpoints in some point of our lives. What is amazing is as he stands so proudly on the soil he calls home, he fails to fucking realise that This was the real history (sejarah for you BM lovin motherfuckers) erased from the textbooks and so conveniently forgotten by idiots like Luqman.

So before you stand in front of your fuckin monument and proclaim that you are son of the soil' open your fuckin eyes because they small like s lit and you ain't chinese, dickwad.

*tucks, snorts whiffs and loudness

2010-01-16T08:42:00.003+08:00

i have been annoyed lately with much ado about nothing or so it seems.

for the past 3 months, work has been good (the least can be said about my relationship) with a couple of close but good friends around. i particularly hate the place im sitting at right now, just because i dislike a foreigner sitting beside me. now now before anyone accuses me of being racial ans so on; here's a little history.

*flashback*
when i was @ the black hole, the foreigner whom we shall call Mr.E; was as hardworking and ambitious like all foreigners when they arrive. Heck he even went on a trip to China with the President's daughter. But as all foreigners discover not all is pleasant @ the black hole. Relations began to sour and he had become from positive to being a sight for sore eyes. The clincher came when he was *fired from the black hole. So what does this have to do with me? .... nothing really. but hi guess that he pre-judged me as a corporate figure close to the black hole management hence cold shoulder. anyway ....
*flash forward*

i'm pissed with him as my work neighbour that he doesn't do anything or contribute; when the door bell rings, he sits there laughing at youtube videos; basic unfriendliness well not to say im bloody friendly myself. but im not nearly as pissed as i am about this character

lo and behold .... "uncle QS", the typical chinaman uncle born in Batu Pahat, Muar. Spent all his life in the construction business hence the loss of hearing due to granite explosions. It is amazing how a man like uncle QS speaks on the mobile like campaigning for re-election. It's bad enough that i have to blast my ipod volume to 100%, i still hear him in the background with noise cancellation headphones; if i don't go deaf by end of the month i will go insane with all the small noise he produces.

the *tucks with his tongue
the *snorts to clear his nasal passage

both within a succession of 5 seconds in between each other every 5 minutes.

Dealing with 1 idiot was OK now with uncle QS, it looks like they have won the war; i have already requested a transfer out of the room to anohter. please HR make it happen.

100110

2010-01-10T09:39:00.006+08:00

firstly, happy belated new year to all readers, actually there aren't many readers but lemme just bask in this sunlight for a bit. im not surprised that readers have dwindled; no updates + no changes = not interested. Anyway birdpoo was setup so that 10 years later i can revisit what crap i wrote and what i was thinking of.

24th December 2009
I decided it was a good day to renew my passport on Christmas eve. BAD fuckin choice. one should always realise that school holidays aka most people on holiday is the wrong time to renew or apply for any governmental document. i reached the place @ 9am and was left wondering did i make the right choice? the snaking line was enough to put me off, but i persisted. 20 minutes later most of us still stuck outside; began to doubt that we would be able to get it done. You see the branch had closed off the self renewing machine much to the fucking agony of most of who just wanted to renew. After 45 minutes they decided to take down the "Machine Out of Order" sign and switch the machine. Many of us already irate, had to re-queue and wondered why the fuck the machine was switched off and labeled Out of Order in the first place. I was faced with another issue where i had realised i needed a xerox copy of ID card; luckily when you share a common agenda (which is hatred for lazy arseholes in the government) you make friends easily. So i made the copy and slotted back in. Outcome: Lining up for a useless number = 1 hour; Lining up for the "Out of Order machine = 30 minutes; time at the machine = 8 minutes; Renewal of passport = RM300; Parking = RM3.50; Feeling = why waste our time when this could have been done in the machine for less than 20 minutes?; Expression = {facepalm}

31st December 2009 we decided there isn't much purpose in watching fireworks anymore; the traffic queues are just not worth it. So we went to watch another kind of fireworks - Avatar. Now i know most of everyone i know, screams this is the best movie of 2009, superb effects awesome even, amazing - excellent (im running out of words) but ahem i beg to differ. I find it mediocre not because of the effects but the storyline is nothing to shout about. Actually hollywood has not come out with a plot or storyline that managed to amaze me anymore and makes me feel there are scriptwriters but production companies choose buy effects based scripts. sad sad sad. Avatar is just another "Pocahontas", "dance With Wolves" look beyond the effects you will find a copycat style but using Indian mythology was a nice touch. When it was over, so were the fireworks and all was left to do was to brush away the popcorn and sleep.

6th January 2010 woke up 630am to catch a flight to Singapore for the transfer of my NZ PR to my new passport. I touched down Singapore at 10am and hopped onto the MRT train to witness, 2 ladies makin out whilst standing upright. I guess Singapore is liberal i just didn't think they provided free shows. i also realised that out of 10 people in the train, 11 people have an iPhone and the rest a Blackberry. So i get to Takashimaya Tower A and here we go another number. i had 22 and now serving 15; f-u-c-k with a capital F because there's only 1 person working; the rest are only interested in going for lunch. After 1.5 hours, they decided that the queues were outta control so they came out to help us. The actual process only cost me SGD77 and 10 minutes. It left me wondering i thought only governmental offices where such; well at least i bought a pair of onitsuka tiger for the trouble. I left 3 hours later on the same flight back home.

My resolution for the new year is simple; to stop looking at people and highlighting their deficiencies; to look at everything objectively as their is a BIGGER story behind it. Err ..yeah scrap it.

poseurs of the posers

2009-11-27T09:04:00.002+08:00

a bone to pick with people who would speak to you in a foreign slang from upper side east of the south coast when you know deep down inside he/she is from the upper west side of juru, klang. what the fuck, people? is being a Malaysian so shameful? that you have to change your name and adopt your husband's name? Which i might add is the ultimate insult to your family and culture to whom you spent your childhood life. I may not have understood what took place in your childhood but seriously no matter the torrid time when we were young, it's our memories and i'd carry my surname proudly because it's not called family for fucks, yeah? it's not called generations for fucks either.

im actually ashamed for your children living with the contention of presumption; not knowing that their mums or dads came from Ulu Selangor but rather the 'dignified' United States. Whilst having your husband or wife's 'mat salleh'ed name may give you confidence; deep down when you bleed out, your dna is still your mum and dad from Kampung Risah, Ampang Lama. It is who you are, aren't you proud of it?

got showed the finger so ....

2009-11-21T19:46:00.002+08:00

naturally i showed him my finger as well.

this has to be the BIGGEST dickpussy ever. i was about to turn left at the junction at SMK Seaport but there was a car undecided to turn or to go straight. So i made the decision for him, you cant make up your mid then im going first because i know where i'm going. So i turn out, and drive.

With Built to Spill on the stereo, i seemed to hear a faint buzz, i've not heard it from the track before? ... Honnnnnk ... zooms past a porsche (old targa 911) so i thought well how's about that. Wait ... what's that?

The driver turns around to the back window and shows me the finger.

what the FUCK!?! was that for?

So naturally when you get sucker punched you defend but enough defending then you fight back. So i gave him the finger as well. As we passed each other, he made another effort to give me the finger again, so i gave him the finger and if he could read my lips it would spell "F-U-C-K-Y-O-U-W-A-N-K-E-R".

RANT: you motherfucking wanker just because you drive a porsche doesn't give you extra horses in your nutsack to drive like a fucking cock dipshit. to the motherfucker living at SS3 driving a porsche you think you have grapefruits? you wanna go head to head with me fuckhead? let's get fucking started!

smuckered again

2009-11-15T09:06:00.003+08:00

it's amazing how foreigners seem to be obnoxious to me; so amazing it doesn't seem funny anymore.

it was a packed arena, so out of the corner of my eye i saw a table, empty with just empty plates. so we sat down; i placed my beer on the table, enjoying the show. Then this happens ....

*AML = Ang Moh Lady

AML: THIS OUR TABLE, WE SAT HERE FIRST
J: woah, woah lady take it easy!
AML: DON'T ASK ME TO RELAX
J: ok ... ok, i can't get up because there's someone behind
AML: WE SAT HERE FIRST!!!
J: lady, ok i'm moving ok? i'm moving. geez.

she tried to repent by giving me one of her seats. pfffftt.

off we went to the next table for the lucky draw.

The problem is not so much giving up the table, but more of mannerism. i hardly raised my voice so why should you? when did you pick up this kiasu-ist skill? you're a teacher in an international school for heaven sake. what are you teaching the kids? You think you were doing the "right" thing by being confrontational but really it just shows you have shit for brains and mannerism of a cow.

on a horror (perceived anyway) day like this .....

2009-11-13T18:41:00.004+08:00

deserves a horror experience. i've never hidden my disdain for so-called PHD doctor wannabes or poseur (for the discerning), today proved another reason why Dr.poseurs are just all talk, all snobbish and all hot air.

i was dropped into exam invigilation today so off i went into the exam hall. dr.poseur was chief invigilator. well well well so the fun begins. if chief invigilator means do nothing but read during the exam then holy fuckin high hell, i wanna be one as well.

shit just because you have a poseur dr in front of your name doesn't mean you are off with your duties. so far all PHD dr.poseurs i've met are all the same, no one has proven me wrong at all. So please show me that books haven't gone to your heads, and show me something worth me going "wow"

check out these arseholes

2009-11-10T20:27:00.000+08:00

the tunes post of 08/09

2009-11-07T18:46:00.007+08:00

i haven't done one of these since i came back from NZ and today i'm feeling musically inclined. for those who know me, music for me, soothes my soul and keeps me sane. Let's start with the best 2008-2009 albums.

1. The Last Shadow Puppets - Age of the Understatement
This Miles Kane and Alex Turner collaboration made me feel like i was in a post 60's- pre-70's Spy movie. They called LSP's genre as Baroque Pop as Mr.Alpert would be proud of, the use of strings is a must in any musical composition. I had only recently discovered this collaboration whilst reading an old copy of Q magazine, but it's set on repeat on my car.They almost remind me of Barat & Doherty partnership. Tracks I can't stop listening to: Standing next to you, Black Plant, Meeting place.

2. The Rascals - Rascaliaze Before Miles Kane became part of the twin terrors of LSP; he fronted a band bastardised from the Little Flames (which the Arctic Monkeys were fans of). Naturally they had a more psychedlia feel very RIDE-ish. Very recommended. Tracks I can't stop listening to: Out of Dreams, Bond Girl, Does your husband know you're on the run?

Alice in Chains - Black Gives Way to Blue all respect to Layne Staley; Jerry Cantrell and the boys must have gone thru hell and back dealing with Layne's suddent demise. It's evident in the lyrics in the poetic track of the same album title; so much so it made me shed a tear. They also have a new singer, which tries to be Staley but really shouldn't because there's only one guy who could sing angry chair in a wheelchair. Tracks I can't stop listening to: Check My Brain (after 5 listens, you'd get used to the droning), Last of my kind, Take her Out, Black gives way to Blue.

Placebo - Battle for the Sun holy shit, i haven't listened to Placebo since their cruel intentions sellout. Androgynous Brian Molko still looks pretty much the same and could pass off as a girl; but of course sexuality is not in discussion here (Molko is bi-sexual and Olsdal is gay); MUSIC is. Most would dismiss this is an ordinary effort by placebo but they just stick in there time & time again. Tracks I can't stop listening to: Ashtray Heart, Bright Lights

The Libertines - Time for Heroes i know, i know Pete Doherty is a junkhead and crack head but it doesn't mean he's a bad songwriter. Barat & Doherty is the quintessential snobby brit twins e.g. morrissey & marr, rotten & vicious, noel & liam gallagher. Despite the junk, Pete can still carry a tune and ever since Barat formed Dirty Pretty Things; he's just not the same. Get over it lads. Tracks I can't stop listening to: Music when the lights go out, What became of the likely lads, what a waster, what katie did, time for heroes

the Black Angels - Passover i got introduced to this band by Gavin who suggested the tune - Black grease. i listen and thought oh shit, this was released in 2006 where was i? if you like jesus & the mary chain and BRMC, this is a MUST! plus it features a female drummer. Awesomeness! Tracks I can't stop listening to: the first vietnamese war, black grease bloodhound on my trail

Notable Tracks from Albums unnoticed
- 10,000ft by Wolfmother of the Cosmic Egg album
- United States of Eurasia by Muse of the Resistance album
- All is love by Karen O and the kids of the Where The Wild Things Are OST
- Vlad the Impaler by Kasabian of the West Rider Pauper Lunatic album
- No you girls by Franz Ferdinand of the Tonight: Franz Ferdinand album

hello-ween drivers

2009-10-31T18:08:00.002+08:00

i have been wanting to post this up for the longest time , but everytime i get to the composition screen, my thoughts elude me. i have a HUGE fuckin gripe with Malaysian drivers, yes me included. Here are some questions to ask before we begin:

1. Do you get ticked off everytime the driver in front of you signals, he/she expects to turn immediately into your lane?

2. Do you get pissed when the lane you are on which is U-turn, is blocked by errant drivers trying to jam/cut into the next lane?

3. Are you incensed at drivers who flash their headlights (furiously) at you egging you to move out of the way?

4. Do you think the idiot in the car is really outta his/her mind for blocking the entire by parking the car in front of the corner?

5. Do you think motorcyclist's are pests in a traffic jam and wished their tyre would get stuck in the iron grate so you could see a real flying cannonball man?

6. Have you shown the middle finger 18 times the last week to motorcyclists and drivers because of their incomptence on the road?

if you've answered yes to just 'one' of the questions? welcome to the fucking club! No doubt Malaysia is no where near the idiocy of Thailand or Cambodia in terms of traffic but by golly we are getting there. Malaysia hosts one of the most arrogant drivers, yes you! and me. we are motherfuckin maniacs on the road, we forget whatever sense of polteness and sense of reality behind the wheel. We are so fuckin incensed to getting to point B the fastest it doesn't matter how many dents or traffic violation we make, as long as we get there.

i took a long hard look at my driving last week and i was pissed at myself but more so at the education of driving in Malaysia. Take a hard look my friends ....

we have no ..
Tolerance
Patience
Sense
Courtesy

we only have ..
Arrogance
Stupidity
Ego
the 'Kiasu' mentality

Since when have we become Singaporeans? we rush, we honk, we flash our lights at the slightest delay to display our displeasure at wasting time, when we're just going to buy a pack of fags. why? We are fuckin outta our minds! We know that the right lane is for the u-turn but yet we cut and laugh at the suckers still queuing up "shouting, up yours suckers so much for waiting" then rush to the front only to block the entire enraged drivers behind who actually want to make the u-turn. You ignore the honks thinking that it's your right to cut in because you've signalled in. What ego, drivers? When did we ever become like that? we wouldn't do it to other people outside our cars for fear of a verbal battle but because we can hide behind our cars, we do so.

What has education done for us? oh wait nothing because we can actually buy our driving license's. i reckon we wont change, it definitely says a lot about the way we were brought up. watching our father's drive (i use father because mine is a maniac on the road, egotistical, loud, eccentric and dangerous) doesn't help. the day we realise that we need lane discipline and regress the idea of rushing, leave ego at the doorstep and start thinking of others ..... wait i don't think that day will come (o pessimistic me, do you blame me?)

i for one will not be my father anymore.

of idiots and arrogant idiots

2009-10-23T18:18:00.003+08:00

i think i've met enough idiots in my lifetime to crack the friends limit on facebook. yet today i add another 2 more. particularly one heck of smelly work neighbour and a definite fuck face called dr. if i can say the least. so let's refer to them as smelly neighbour and dr.fuck face

smelly neighbour: there are some people you despise and there are some you just can't stand. he's both. one feels the vibe when you think you are almighty because of your ego; i felt the vibe when i first went to work and discover the "oh shit, he's here!" syndrome. Our paths have crossed before; when i was still in middle management power and he was in negative mode by result of the overpowering powers to be @ the black hole. Though in different sections and departments, i get the feeling as though he has cast me as "management scum" that is holding his balls down and hammering it with a fucking fork and a hammer. +thoughts+ is it my fucking fault that you signed your life to the black cult, promising them that you'd do your masters and arguing with them over payment. mate go fuck your peruvian anal shithole! your attitude has nothing to do with me; i dislike your professionalism because if you cant handle the shit, why bother? all talk no action just makes me think you are a fucking empty can of worms waiting to be opened by other idiots. we may have nothing to talk about but shit you gotta know you smell like shit? oh wait ... that's the problem, you don't because you're so far up your arse, it almost smells .... normal.

: dr. fuck face; oh shit where do i begin? i have constantly reiterated having your PHD title is just a title. it only shows that you were fucking dumb enough to spend 4 fucking years of your life attempting to write rationale why a is A and not b. I had a recent run in with another dr., he asked if i was interested in doing a phd? i said "no". he responded by saying where the college is heading, you'd eventually have to do your phd. well if a paper is used to justify that i MUST use text and words to show my expertise then take your PHD and fuck off because i never believed that textual research or writing shit will make more knowledgable. so what you can talk about it? you can't do it given the time (4 years) but all you can do is fucking write a paper with 50,000 words? so what good is words when you can't see it?

So back to dr. fuck face, his arrogance spills annoyance to me. Again, there are just people you love to hate. and fuckin hell he fits the bill. 1. he gets the glass office with glass door, he writes dr.lim ..... what the fuck? why can't you write your name, are you a MD deserving of the dr. title? 2. he puts his feet up on the table to show "damn mofo's im the man here" err ok maybe thats' because all the other men were out getting laid when you were writing about doing nothing. 3. he asked a presenter a question and very rudely told her not to reverse the question and put the ball back to his court? but that's how you get a two way discussion moron didn't you know, oh wait dr's dont practice 2 way communication because it's their way and only their way. petulance arrogance. +thoughts+ as i said before i do not have any love lost for PHD called drs; to me it's just a title; if you insist to be called a dr. then it only shows your punitive mentality in trying to accustom everyone by using a title. titles work only if you have proven something and writing about something and not being able to do anything hasn't proven anything but the fact that you are just too chicken shit to try.

so phd DR wannabes, the next time you force a DR down everyone's throat, titles mean jack shit where you're gonna go next.

6.1 and a friend of mine called cholesterol

2009-10-11T15:59:00.002+08:00

i've been at the gym, say a year ... fuck ... at least 9 months ok? so i gi for my 6 month blood test to check see if everything is fine & dandy, seeing that i've passed the 35 mark of life. so i regularly do this. i was feeling pretty confident not knowing the next day i would heartbroken.

the results came back a whopping 6.1 for cholesterol. the safe mark is 5.5 and that is borderline. i realised that it's not how much you can lift in gym, it's the constant pushing you need your heart to do. i hate running because i've never found a use for it until now. I just came back from a 2 day cardio blast - running for 45 minutes a day. my legs feel heavy, like logs floating in the stream.

after a month at a new place, i wouldn't say i'm adapting pretty well; my friends are from other departments, so that just shows how much i like my new colleagues. The ragging they're giving me, iwell put it this way - foundation during my off break and continued on to the new semester - well isn't just dandy.

i have a feeling. a feeling that i'm gonna quarrel with another aussie. shit. i hate self pretentious phd holding whack jobs. unfortunately i have one on the other side of asia which they so proudly dismiss by naming in australasia. fuckin idiots, you are part of asia so when they call asians, you put your hands up, fuckin kangaroo shit. so ms phd is in adelaide, whack job jesus town; prior to this i've already had an email altercation with her; and with instructions like" there must masking in your banner .." masking where in flash or in photoshop? so dare i ask her for a sample file. her reply was short, simple and indicative of her character - "you can download it from out moodle site"

you fucking nutcase, if i could access the site or knew where the fuck it was; i would even bother asking you? you goddamn self righteous dung. get off your high chair, you are supervising lecturer and you are not looking over. fuck off. i'm gonna do what i want. hence i'm gonna get shit for this.

if there is one distinction between me; a fucking chink and her a self righteous phd nutjob; i wouldn't leave anyone hanging especially when you realise that it's a cry for help. i know not all of em are like thhis but i would so quickly denounce her Asian tag. Actually they would like that huh? so no, ms phd nutjob , you are Asian; the fucking kiasu kind! take your shrimp on the barbie and shove it up your crotch because one can't tell the stinking difference.

heartbroken again

2009-09-20T07:43:00.005+08:00

2 years ago i came back to malaysia heartbroken, torn and in doubt. she helped me ease the pain and kept me warm at night; for 2 years i've grown to love and cherish her presence in my life. she became the pillar in my life, which i clung on to, depended on and hoped would be there for me forever.

2 years on, today i feel cold, empty, lost and meaningless; crying like a baby in the fetal position. i miss you dearly.

1Malaysia

2009-09-05T19:11:00.006+08:00

Warning :: sensitive issues discussed

read this shit

:: insensitivity ::

if you're too lazy to ready the above article, here's a summary of what happened. The residents of Section 23 Shah Alam protested against the ruling state government for allowing a Hindu temple to be built 300 metres away from their residential houses. They brought a decapitated cow's head to the rally insensitive to the Hindu religion as the Hindu's have a sacred divinity with the cow. many residents complained that the temple will increase the traffic flow and cause weird smells and noise in the neighborhood but used the excuse of muslim insensitivity as the main reason but no one could elaborate on what the insensitivity was?

here's my retort on this matter and it is only my opinion and no one else. what a bunch of fucking ingrate hypocrites with lame fucking excuses to say the none. Here are some excerpts from the interviews made with residents.

“It would disrupt traffic flow,” said one female resident of Section 23

yeah but it's ok to hog an entire roundabout and triple park on a main road on Fridays because that wouldn't disrupt traffic flow. You want to be insensitive so can the other races in Malaysia.

“We don’t like the smells. It would be noisy and the temples would usually get bigger so we just don’t want it to be near our homes,” said another resident

but it's ok to have 4 mosques built around a small neighbourhood blaring on the loudspeaker at 5am in the morning. It's also ok to have foodstalls at the mosque for after prayers and leave rubbish all over the road.

Wake up residents of section 23 Shah Alam who took part in the rally, you say we are insensitive to Islam when none of you idiots can tell us why a hindu temple built 300 metres away is insensitive to the Islam religion. Are you using religion as a mere excuse? it sure looks like it. During the time of Ramadan, shouldn't all muslims practice tolerance? Other races have been tolerant, why do you need to be the special ones? you wanna be the special ones, go queue in line for Jose Mourinho's self proclaimed title.

Till then i hope the motherfucker who brought the cow's head to the rally wakes up with a horses head or better yet a pig's head next to you because you deserve it, you fucking racist prick.

torn between - milk & honey - darkness & camaderie -

2009-09-04T10:49:00.000+08:00

* image source : http://img2.allposters.com/images/JAG/03-PS91-1.jpg

as many would have known that i've recently switched jobs, hence the wish for a better job @ wishpoo is now gone. i've gone to a place for a lesser amount of wage but lesser amount of administration stress but i did so with a very heavy heart though. One would expect that after an accumulated 6.5 years of working a place, really formidable partnerships and good friendships were formed. i had been going through constant fickleness especially the last couple of weeks leading up to my inevitable last day. i have been incessantly torn between loyal friendships and the lure of a better environment.

i have no doubt that many have given their views on why i shouldn't leave and that my place belongs at the blackhole; but i am the sort of person who can't really be stuck at one position for too long, i need something different and i hate conformity / comfortability. After i had left, i felt did i really do the right thing? i left a faculty that i had full control over, i knew what i was doing and how to do it. Maybe that is the reason for leaving, i've done all i can but the answer really lies in the fact that i'm tired of administrating.

so fast forward to the new place, whilst it's new, foreign and un-blackened; it's still very much in its raw infancy. i miss my friends where i could easily just murmur the word "fuck this shit" without even flinching my jaw muscle. the new place is flexible as a whore in her heyday (that just sounds too sexist !sorry!)and allows me so much more stuff to do. i will enjoy every inch of freedom that was never made to me. i will enjoy the ability to wear colours other than black. but there's just something missing .....

friends

whilst i have promised that i will be black again after 10 months or more; one wouldn't dare say that new friends won't be made and i may still change my mind as frequently as a man-whore gets called. i'll decide with i get to that crossroad.

of late 30's, kids and wedding dinners

2009-08-16T10:24:00.003+08:00

i had a pretty good night yesterday, a little skeptical but nevertheless enjoyed it. my brother's best friend got married and hold o behold i had to become the emcee yesterday. now granted that i've taught groups of students (approx. 1000+ over the span of 7.5 years) but i've never addressed a hall of old foggies drinking hennesy and not understanding "england". you get the drift. foggies ain't the same as students.

the dinner started off pretty hectic, safe to say i didn't know what the fuck i was doing. running like a headless chicken; dvd, mics, when to come in, when to leave. shit. this coupled with a co-emcee that didn't do shit and i had to get her every fucking time to come up.

but it wasn't all that bad. the ss2 gang briefly revived; older, wiser and lugging children on their shoulders. yup how we have all changed. 15 years ago, without children, without hesitation; cigarette in hand and whiskey in the other. we would have drunk the night away, fired up our cars, have the customary supper at SS2 mamak, drank more, smoked more, BKT in the morning and jet-skiing in the afternoon. times a changing, we are changing. most of us, reminiscent of old days not regretful of what we did as we look forward to our late 30's.

shit, we are the foggies! now it's only a matter of time before some young 20 something punk comes up figures it out. till then i'll enjoy my late 30's just at a slower and healthier pace.

touch but no go

2009-08-09T10:13:00.003+08:00

the most annoying thing on the malaysian roads is not that malaysians constantly use their indicators to swerve in and out as they please but the fact that they wanna use the TnG (a electronic pay system used at highways & expressways)but usually end with the reason "bro sorry lupa bawak la" (bro i forgot to bring it).

bro ... you're fuckin leavin a trail of cars behind you whilst waiting. i had such pleasure of meeting these people at least 10 times a month. One quickly dashed in front of me (yes it's the inferiority complex called kiasu-ism) and it was a woman. She obviously knew that she didn't have enough credit on her card as she dashed from the automated lane to where i was; the manual scanning lane. So we are waiting and waiting as i mumble in my head, "damn you"

and the point of this action is ....

2009-07-30T23:18:00.004+08:00

it saddens me that 80% of the treadmillers and the tough blokes winching every inch of sweat and muscle automatically stops their routine to answer a call. and the point of that is? you might as start at stairwell level 1 and walk up to level 13 in your normal business attire that way you won't look like a fucking fool in sweats and muscle tee answering a call whilst trying the bench 70kgs.

* Image retrieved from "http://munfitnessblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/walking-slowly-treadmill-talking-on-mobile-phone.jpg"

the customer is * NOT always right

2009-07-26T08:18:00.003+08:00

i had just woken up from a pretty dark harry potter movie; that reminded me to blog about an incident at baskin robbins. after a hearty dinner at carl's jr, joot wanted some ice cream before we headed inside the cinema; sorta to soothe the sweet tooth a little. we had already decided waht we want and along comes a bald, brash, Hawaiian-shirt clad with shorts (black of course) and 70's italian mocks.

No he doesn't look like that but you get the point. So he cuts in line (typical of him) and orders his ice cream. he wanted a double scoop of mint ice cream (gee and you'd thought he would go for other flavours); so the guy behind the counter scooped the ice cream into the preset double scoop cup but (this is again typical) our bald friend refused; he wanted the bigger cup. now i don't know if he knows this but im guessing he doesn't; the sales receipts and cups must tally at the end of the sale day, it's not a shopping plastic bag where you can just grab as many as wish for. so he demands that he be given a BIGGER cup (maybe to compensate for 'ahem'), the guys behind the counter was reluctant to give; our bald friend grabbed the BIG cup and said i want my ice cream in this and i'll pay for it. the poor guy had no other choice as 1. he had bald eagle staring down his throat 2. there was a long line of customers behind.

So bald man got what he wanted, though he cut in line when paying and showed his disgust at waiting to pay (but that's another story). this incident really brings me back to my own experience at TGV cinema 1 Utama where i was working for just about a week. i was behind the popcorn counter and this woman came up with her child asking for a plastic bag when she hadn't bought anything. so i said i'm sorry ma'am but i can't simply give out plastic bags (there was a fucking security camera looking at me) because the management might think im giving you free food. the woman storming off but not before flinging her venomous words to me. she blasted "come on girl lets go, this cinema is too stingy to give us plastic bags"

** if i had less a tonne of patience, this might have just come out; "you want free plastic bags go the fuck down to jusco dumb ass cunt" what the fuck are you teaching your kids to be?

anyway i got hauled up and the manager on duty, Andy gave me his wise words. "you have to kind to the customers", i said i was, "he said no you weren't and i saw it" form that moment on, i told myself fuck this shit; this fat fuck is telling me that i wont cut it in the entertainment business. so i got out as soon as the week was over.

the point of the matter is simple, we Malaysians are so fucking pampered to think that we can do what the fuck we want just because we are paying the dossh. when we drive, we think we own the fucking roads (admit it we drive like fuckin idiots on the road and we wouldn't survive anywhere else except asia) and we always think when we pay we should get our money's worth. i simply think that the fucked up mentality of arrogance just means we're covering up for our own flaws. we fix that flaw and teach our kids the right thing, this shit will end.

throw the professional outta the window

2009-07-19T18:45:00.008+08:00

in my life, i strive for professionalism in every aspect of work. when i start work to the very day i leave. in 1996, when i left the advertising firm i was pissed coupled with being young, it was disastrous. i learnt that the director went through our drawers, as much as i am professional at work i want the company to be professional with us as well. so i threw in my letter in a fit and was called down. the then womaniser kenny lee questioned my loyalty to him and why i didn't step up. i told fuck off, you wanna talk about loyalty when you went thru our drawers looking for freelance work, you just threw loyalty outta the window. he gave me a 24 hour notice eventhough i had a month.

over the years i learnt that being brash just doesnt cut it; when at HLYB sungai buloh i had it all, assistant manager to a really good boss that taught me everything about selling my self. the ex navy man once told me money is everywhere on the streets, roads, pathway; you just need to open your eyes. he had done some deals but because the company was so straight laced they just couldn't understand. they fired him after 2 years, after bringing in much needed cash. they looked to me for answers, i thought injustice had be casted and threw in my letter in protest. the directors couldn't understand it. i told then i wanted to go because if the company doesn't trust my boss, it meant they didn't trust me either. of course after that i wrote a nasty letter to all dealers, to which the COO called me to ask me why, i told him i had my reason and he just hung up. --> see young and brash doesn't cut it.

so now i run a faculty with 30 odd staff, things never do change. i recently received a couple of resignations, of which 2 no one could have stopped. but i relatively pissed at another 2. no matter how much we hate the company, the people it shouldn't really stop you from being professional. finish up your notice period as you would normally but no we have arseholes who refuse to dress in proper conduct, does whatever and wherever he/she pleases, decides not to turn for work, constantly taking leave etc. the guys may have left but i wouldn't recommend them anywhere; the grass is always greener outside but one thing doesn't change you attitude and your responsibility. so yes i am pissed but i am glad as well because i no longer have to deal with prima donna's like you both. so good luck and good riddance.

funnily i am serving my notice period now as well; but i'm still turning up for work and working towards the handover. just no meetings.

*image retrieved from "http://dicktersbedpan.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/computer-out-window.jpg"

stupideetee

2009-07-18T20:00:00.000+08:00

i love football (no not that american crap with the girlie pads), especially when fans like us get all stupid and park on the freeway. it can only be ManUre.

* i am not a fan of the team ManUre

smells like ....

2009-07-16T21:48:00.003+08:00

sniff sniff

year old sweat stains on the walls
testosterone with a hint of steriods
a mixture of bad BO from all races mixed with some foreign ones as well
burnt out air conditioning fuse
damp sweaty arse marks on the sauna planks
moss infested shower curtains
clogged drainage with seeping shampoo foam, dirt and urine

=

ever been to the gym changing room lately?

chicken legs

2009-07-14T19:53:00.006+08:00

i've been hitting the gym quite often recently. not trying to lose flab but more to getting strong and fit. i've been pushing pretty heavy weight stacks recently andit's been horror to my lower back. im not ashamed to announce this but i have a pretty weak lower back as result of lotsa lazing around in the slouching position.

so amidst the grunting heavy mass dudes checking out their pecs and biceps; i noticed most of these dudes have heavy top and really really skinny legs. i mean it's just not balance-able. it looks weird. of course i understand why everyone (99.9%) of gym-goers hate working out their legs.

1. we walk everywhere and by the time we hit the gym for legs, we feel the strain of working out the legs. (errr walking isn't working out the legs)
2. once you push heavy stacks for legs, they go weak. then you try to figure how the hell you gonna walk down the stairs
3. you'd walk like a duck the next day; irregardless of whether you walk up or down the stairs.

you may think you look good upward but damn you have fucking chicken legs

*image retrieved from "http://www.brasseagle-adventureteam.com/specoptdicesenssnude.jpg"

::stupidytee::

2009-07-12T07:42:00.004+08:00

::please think before you do something stupid ::

like wearin fuckin crocs

image retrieved from "http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_L3IXUJJZiwA/R722ojWHYRI/AAAAAAAAAe0/tGrBE3RH3ZE/s400/Navy%2BCrocs.jpg"

a step forward

2009-07-11T20:00:00.001+08:00

i have just finished graduation duty for the 1st time (this year! last year was 5 and the year before that was 3). A lot of us dread graduation especially the lot of us who play a larger role than others. i unfortunately am one of the larger role personnel. therefore here is the story of how i got into this larger but unwanted role.

2007
i was still a bit part player in graduations, occasionally handling door duties or mainly just security. However i had been given a walkie for no apparent reason; well the reason was they had no one to give to. So i did what everyone with a walkie did, pretend to be on "call" and look busy. during the ceremony graduation video, i had a radio call - "make them clap. CLAPPPPPPP". i looked around and thought "shit, no one is doing anything" so i just pretended nothing happened. on the floor, silence from the graduating batch. Then the call came in again "MAKE THEM CLAP!!!" i look around and tell myself to relax, just blend in. "JULIAN!! MAKE THEM CLAP" fuck this is what i hated, on the airwaves, they had just called my name asking me to perform a cheerleading duty. i thought to myself it can go 2 ways - i fucking ignore it or i act like a fucking fool waving my arms round. i chose the latter and lived to regret it. i jumped on the center aisle, ran up to the student waving my arms like a fucking clown only for them to muster a tiny clap. i went back and thought to myself i should have fuckin ignored it.

2008
This is pinnacle to what i have done. Earlier last year i was told to go to Botswana for moderation. i thought to myself, fuck man it's a chance of a lifetime to go to afrika. so i did. little did i know there was going to be a graduation for them. oh fuck this shit. we finished moderation in record 2 days 9how on fucking earth do you finish moderation in 2 days) and spent the 3 days rehearsing. this was when i got the BIGGEST fucking shock of my entire career. i thought it was all botswana team event, no it's a malaysian team event. wait wait wait, you mean a team of 7 malaysian are supposed to handle graduation? how the fuck. the killer news yet to come.

i got news i was going to do entertaining - percussion team in and out of the hall. sure easy peasy. then i get this chilling news, the boss wants you backstage because he needs a calm person to handle stuff. oh fuck my sideways and from all sides. i have never done backstage, i've looked at the chaos backstage and i know nothing about how backstage works. So i train the tray bearers,looked high & low for trays and prep the flow up. only me and siti. the day is upon us, i line up the awards and discover im missing one. then i get a load of diva wannabes in the choir asking me for hot water. do i look like your babysitter? they kept opening the door and this let the light in and i kept closing it. here comes the clincher, i was not given a communicative device at all, so i just ran with the flow. and for my first time as backstage, i FUCKED UP so bad i didn't even know where my testicles were. the awards were wrong,the scrolls were wrong etc.

fast forward to the next one, i thought since i fucked up so badly i would be backstage for the next one. hold and behold, julian - backstage. here i was thinking how fucking stupid are these guys, the previous backstage manager is laughing her arse off thinking this dude fucked up the botswana graduation what do you think he will do to this one. yes ladies and gentlemen, i fucked it up as well. So on more, i keep wondering why they picked me for the later graduations, the glorious answer? i have been trained by the president in botswana.

retort you mean the president taught me to fail miserably in my duties? what kind of fucking reason is that? he hardly showed me anything, most of which i had to learn by myself. you called that trained by the president? nevertheless i don't like to fail in my tasks, so i learnt the hard way and implement a system to backstage for the later dates. i started get things right and from then on, i'm happy to say no mistakes until i got fucked for letting the tray-bearers dress too casually. for which i stick with my decision - it's a all muslim graduation, do you really expect me to send a girl out in a tube? but i got fucked for it and learnt there is no perfect for the boss because only what he does is perfect and what everybody else does in mediocre. that is ego for you.

2009 this will be my last graduation as backstage manager; pending me signing on for another university in the coming days. i dont enjoy the backstage but at the end of the day i made it count and i did what my task asked of me and beyond. to that i am proud of myself and hope my successor learns the easier way than i did.

a step backwards

2009-07-09T20:05:00.005+08:00

Malaysia today has taken a big step backward by reversing the decision to teach matematik and sains (heh pun intended) back in bahasa melayu (which should be called malaysia). sad that it has succumb to this, as it is, academicians having so much problems with students unable to converse and write in English language. this just makes it worse. worse than worse. .... let's call it 'worse-r' (pun intended).

who gains ....
when you can't even construct a proper sentence in English?
when you can't conduct business abroad because he/she doesn't understand English?
when you don't understand your English speaking partner says i love you?
when you lose out to other candidates because you speak bad English?

who gains? .....

kurupt

* image retrieved from http://e-publishing.uum.edu.my/

random_thoughts::randomise::

2009-07-04T22:18:00.006+08:00

i have some free time to day so i gathered some thoughts for today. just some random thoughts of my puny pea brain.

1. a spitting image
i walked through IOI mall after lunch alone at the sushi joint; nothing planned just aimlessly walking around. i ended up buying some socks and shorts for gym. as i walked back, i was at the back of a little girl no more than 8 years old. she must have not realised that i was behind her; i thought nothing of it just a normal malay girl. as we reached a narrow corner, she leaned her head sideways and "splurrrt" ...pudd.. holy fuckin hell, she spit in public and at a mall. This wasn't a dirty rundown drug peddling mall, this was a new section of a mall. thoughts: just what are we teaching our children? morals? goddamn she's a kid obviously having followed what her parents or siblings do or is doing. it's just plain disgusting and damn bloody unhygienic; and we are wondering how the fuck we reached pandemic stage of flu. what amuses me more is the little girl turned around and didn't seem fazed about what she did.

2. stop stalking me
i went into FOS and i like to look at things; without the salesperson looking over my shoulder. i absolutely hate people staring at what you're thinking of purchasing. so i look @ a few tees, i made a mistake by lifting up a long sleeved shirt; i mean who in their right fuckin mind would wear a long sleeve tee in the malaysian searing heat? anyone except me apparently. So obviously i'd never leave the unfolded shirt eventhough i didn't wanna buy it. So i attempted to fold it back; then comes this stalker like salesboy with his nerdy parted hair with eagle eyes. He took the shirt and folded it back with much contempt. From then on, he proceeded to follow me to every section, apparently to signal the "mofo, i'm watchin ya" in an attenpt to replicate de niro's focker'esque attitude.thoughts: dude, bro or whatever you wanna be called nowadays, a little advise; yes i fucked up but please don't follow your customers around. it's freaky. it's called privacy mate, there's like a boundary .. any nearer one could actually smell your sweat drenched armpits and stench from your overgrown amazonian bush. So please stay the fuck away!

3. deserving or un-deserving
i have long discussed that tailgaters are like rabid dogs chasing their tails, that explains why they love to kiss ass of anything. Anyway, i have a friend who is in her early 20's, is a ok person (wished she grew up faster though) with quite a showy attitude. sort of egoistic and very self conscious. anyway she drives like a maniac, despite many of us telling her that she'd be looking for trouble should she continue this path. All of which she denies of course. She met an accident on friday, which was pretty bad, it left her shaken and obviously stirred. thoughts: i don't wanna say i told you so. i hope that you're ok of course. it's humanistic to be egoistic, humans love to show off if not we wouldn't have LV's, ferarri's and bumiputra rights. there is a fine line between knowing how to drive and showing off that you can weave in and out of traffic. consumer cars are never made to slipstream or be tailgated; 9 out of 10 times you'd never be able to outbrake the front car so why bother? if it proves that you have 2 steel testicular fortitude between your legs then you might as well step into the ring with mike tyson; you'd either lose both or it'll shrink to the peanuts otherwise im fine leaving my kahunas (no matter little they are) between my legs.

4. so long to a genius + a beauty
as we mourn the passing of a musical genius, i look back at what he did for me during my youth. i remember listening to beat it, billie jean and thriller on mtv as a zit infested prick. music affected, infected and infested my entire growing up years. i must thank my uncle for this as i listened to his queen tapes, stole my cousins pirated hot chocolate cassettes; till today im always looking inspiration in music. i feel like a little of childhood had faded away when michael jackson passed on; he maybe be freak, he maybe eccentric but damn he must be damn fucking good to still maintain the best selling album to date. Step aside your fuckin jonas brothers, britney, avril, linkin park. and to farrah fawcett who was responsible for the many many many teens spilling their proteins during her hey day; it had been very pleasurable watching you in charlie's angels and it's really commendable the way you fought the disease that ravaged in you for 4 years. RIP Farrah and MJ, may your genius and beauty awe the occupants of heaven.

5. converting to love
i also have friend who recently embraced islam in order to get married to his loved one. whilst i have nothing against the muslim religion (actually i do but we shall not discuss it here) but i should really discuss giving up one's religion. my parents are catholic though they've never tried to force upon me to be a catholic (actually they have but have since stopped, maybe they thought i was the antichrist)but how does one forsake his/her love for god in place of another? thoughts: choice. are we so self centered as to think that we can go in and out of religion like fuck buddies? whilst it's easier to go into islam than to get out of it; the factor here is choice isn't it? everyone has a choice to adopt or abstain from religion. is it a moral sin to deny allah muh ....blah blah blah? apparently yes it is. so basically once you in there is no choice. isn't religion an extension of belief? isn't religion hope and closure for most? we are answerable to the higher UP when it's time; till then we should have a choice.

tomorrow

2009-06-07T13:44:00.002+08:00

what's even more fucked up is i have to work straight to sunday as well. fuck you politics

all for the crv

everyday

2009-06-06T09:32:00.001+08:00

it feels fucked up to work on saturday especially on a designated holiday just because of politics.

today ...

2009-05-02T08:53:00.001+08:00

it feels fuckin good to not have to work on saturday!

i really need a new job

office politics and ways to repel getting sucked into the middle of it *

2009-05-01T09:04:00.011+08:00

office politics, which company doesn't have any? from the snickering techies that just recorded your boss fuck his secretary in the server room, under the orders of the BIGGER boss an upper hand advantage later or the beehive haired lady asking a team of hardworking dickheads "to be on her team" so that things get done (for her purpose) but actually we all know it's just to cover up for losing RM180K worth of a car. whatever form, colour or shape, we the worker ants are just the pawns; the fuckin objects in the game.

a cousin once said, "we are in a video game and there are 2 players but 1 joystick. so as they struggle with the controls we just go left, right or whichever fuckin direction pressed. ever been in a position where one asked to do A but the other wants you to do B; both are your supervisors, your vice presidents, empowered to run the organisation, fuckers who makes decisions but when the presidents asks; both clam up like fuckin black pearl oysters and casually the fingers pointed your way.

fret not; the way out is soon, says too many people then BOOM your hopes of leaving are dashed when the world is hit with a economic crisis and you're stuck at a dead end job with bills to pay. so how do you get out of this rut or at least stay away from politics in the office.

NOTE: USE these methods only if you are assured you do not want to work within the vicinity or for the same company ever again. These methods works only if you are in a service industry e.g. education

1. refuse to attend any meetings NOT involving your daily tasks or job scope e.g. if you are hired to lecture, you attend academic meetings NOT meetings to honour a VIP's visit to the University

2. constantly network and job seek around the same industry unless you're so fuckin unlucky to be in a economic crisis, then stick it out till the end of the downturn or until a better or similar offer comes in

3. when approached by higher ups to confront your refusal to cooperate with them; the common answer is "I'm not trying to evade or not support you, but i've got *insert any job here* to do. sorry yeah!" then walk away, don't linger around!

4. find all ways to go out on a field trip or external visits outside your workplace; this does wonders as for once you will be happy to wake up at 7am and "work". Remember don't return to the office unless necessary and always tell your boss where you are.

5. in the rare occurrence that you meet any higher ups during your "field trip" use the no.3 excuse and return to work as you know they aren't in the office.

6. if you are lucky enough to secure an interview outside, the logical thing to do is to apply for a day leave BUT you won't be so naive to do that as a day taken is a day more at your wretched company. so repeat no.4 & 5.

7. if everything works out .... on your last day at work, take picture of colleagues and friends; take one of yourself horns up and mark it your last day. an overwhelming feeling will occur and most likely you'd break down in tears so bring lotsa kleenex.

8. finally personally thank your office poilticians; tell them you've finally come to your senses, am 100% willing to support them and there will be no more important jobs to do than doing their bidding; of course when you stand to head for the door, you'd tell them this is your last day. then hum the lyrics to Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.

9. As you leave the building, your carpark for the last time .... smile and take a camwhore pic of yourself with finger up. here you can go two ways.

10a. if you really decide you ain't coming back, email the camwhore pic to your office politicians and facebook it, better still create a group on FB and invite only ex disgruntled employees.

10b. keep the pic to remind yourself whenever you feel down & out in your current place, it ain't half as fucked up as the old one. that's why you left!

11. if all else fails, become you own boss and politician.

* title suggests that i'm so fucking in the middle of some shit now
** image retrieved from http://www.beatyourowndrum.com/images/dwight.jpg

number 2

2009-04-25T18:25:00.007+08:00

right here comes number 2.

2. i've been using sony ericcson's when they were still called ericcson and were bulky and had antenna's that looked like a bottle straw. i had the GF388, T20, T68i and the K750i with a W800 board. so for a year i had been looking forward to the SE905, fuckin 5 MP camera and shitload of other extras .....

until i held the phone in my palms.

holy fuckin hell, it's BUTT fucking UGLY. It's fat (not that i have anything with fat fuckers as i myself am one) and so uninspiring in design. so i was in a fucking dilemma, i had my K750i chokin up on me - it hangs after a 2 days (the theme fucks up) and the joystick (as with all SE's) is shit.

so i waited and got a good deal from joot, RM900 for the Samsung D880 dual sim slider. hmm not too bad, looks decent and isn't ugly in any sense. now you'd be asking me how the fuck did i get a RM1.8K phone for half the price, well i bought from a friend's lesbo friend (umm it gets more complicated)who organised tradeshows at mall where they parade show units. i remember opening the box and saw a bluetooth headset, as much as im a cheap motherfucker who would have taken it and used it as my own ... i didn't.(To all the motherfuckers who thought that i would, FUCK YOU! ahem .. i didn't take it becos there was no charger for the headset .. OF COURSE i would have taken the freebie ...im fucking CHINESE! ..... however ....

all was not meant to be as i willingly allowed joot to use this phone whilst she gave hers to her dad. so there it went. So months pass by and a colleague of mine came in one day and showed this phone to me ..

now ... now ...now before anyone goes postal on me and say that half the fucking ah bengs and ah lians are using this phone now. lemme just say that i bought this phone a week after it was launched for RM1.4K and FUCK YOU for thinking it's an ah beng phone.

shit ... it looks good, metal body, qwerty keyboard, smart'fucking' phone. doesn't it look good? now you must be wondering how the fuck my fatty chubby fingers type on this phone, fingertips ..tips is all i can say. this camera is shit but believe me it looks good, the body construct is not flawless but damn the metal body is so damn gorgeous. seriously it is, beats the shit outta iphone any given fuckin day.

i dont have themes on the phone just the occasional bejeweled for the "i'm at the meeting but im fuckin not listening to you" meetings and when you can't find anything to read at the public toilet, garmin gps(for when you get lost in another country), opera mini (did i tell you this fucking phone goes wifi ..sheeeeettt) and fring (for those IM moments esp when your fucking company blocks MSN on cable DSL but not on wifi).

so go ahead laugh motherfuckers ... the only reason i'm laughing is becos i finally got a nokia like any other guy walking on the street. damn.

* SE905 photo retrieved from http://www.geardiary.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/sony-ericsson-c905.jpg. Samsung D880 photo retrieved from http://hillos.info/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/samsung-d880-skew.jpg nokia e71 photo retrieved from http://www.mobilegazette.com/handsets/nokia/nokia-e71/nokia-e71-2.jpg

ah shit .... here we go again

2009-04-19T19:14:00.003+08:00

after dusting of the cobwebs, plying thru a mountain of garbage and sifting thru shit pile like an anal probe; i realise that dailybirdpoo is not so daily anymore. goddamn what happened?

a re-occurance of events
January 2007 : i was getting ready to board a flight back to Malaysia

February 2007 : i went back to mordor to look for friends (BIG fuckin mistake ...actually BAD fucking mistake) and got a job (oh FUCK)

March 2007 : started my first day @ work (fucking hell .... did i say fucking? FUCKING hell)

April - Dec 2007 : suffering (why did i ever step back into mordor?)

January 2008 - Dec 2008 : prolonged suffering in the 7 depths of hell

January 2009 : will someone please get me outta this place, already?

OK .. all seriousness aside the 3 years back here wasn't all downward spiral. 90% of it was but i still had 10% to keep me sane.

Notes
1. Despite my old trusty lady rusting away, i decided to keep her till she bunged out on me every month once. it was like a fucking deja vu visiting the dentist to drill that one fucking tooth over and over again. so i had no choice but to buy a car which could take to mordor and back every single day without visiting the dentist. to cut a long story short, i picked the CRV as the mistress. Sure it don't look much and yes it's a woman's SUV and there's no challenge in driving the tub of lard; but it does it's job. to mordor and back. painful on the monthly tho but i reckon i'd get it back after 5 years.

2. will be coming in a few minutes, hours, days, weeks

just another day

2008-12-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

new year ...hum new year
just another day, is it not?

at 11.59pm on 31st December
people go all crazy
counting down numbers as we're all in need of a maths lesson
fireworks litter the sky
foam smeared all over strangers' faces
cops restore order
revellers go to jail
some even have sex parties

but it's just another day at 12.00pm
i realise i just sound like a grinch
so ....

happy new to all readers; may your new year bring you top notched health, continued success and harmony amongst all world occupants.

can we all just get along?

P-O-S-E-R

2008-12-28T00:12:00.004+08:00

*image copyrighted to http://mykakis.blogspot.com/

my experiences with people have made such a bastard; a fucking self righteous perceivious bastard but i have to tell all of you this, i hate posers!

POSER 1.one who pretends to be someone whose not. 2. who tries to fit in but with exaggeration.

- from urban dictionary dot com.

where in the area of social context does it require you to speak with "twang", and "slang" and whatever the fuck you call it nowadays when in the presence of socialites?

who are they trying to impress? themselves or other people's general perception of the poser?

why am i so uptight about this?

i just came back from a christmas party in ampang. god fuck all, the place already indicates poser alert; how the fuck did i fall for it? met a group of 20 somethings in the lift.

girl: what did you guys bring la (it was a potluck)
me : umm curry chicken
girl : you guys going to the same party?
me: rite ... seems so
girl: ok cool la

*ting* the lift doors open.
girl: oh darliiiinnggs ...muak muak muak (in fad cheek kissing)im sorry im late, u know?
other girls: oh hi darling ... muak muak muak (refer to above)you should try the potato salad, it's marvelousssss!
girl: ohhh realllly?

me: eh since when the fuck this girl was from UK? just now in the lift she sounded like from SS2 only?

it continues ...

girl: oh my god, this cat is like totally ..cute ..totally!
other girl: eww stop playing with it, darling. you're going to kill it.
girl: oh my god, i totally gotta get me one of these ...oh my god they're sooo cute ..totally.

me: my house behind got damn a lot of fuckin pussies ..you want?

girl: like do i know you?
me: hmmph ....

(the last part is exaggerated because i never really talked to her after the lift; in any case why would i?)

so sad .. to all posers or wannabe posers or if you think that you're not a poser but actually you are, just be yourself. if people can't accept you for being you then you have no reason to call them friend .... even though in the context of socialisation.

meery xmas and happy new year 2009. may everyone have all they need and cheers to a successful year ahead (that includes you posers as well ... see im kind hearted too ...umm fuck who am i kidding)

these past few months ...

2008-12-18T20:19:00.004+08:00

These past few months i've learnt quite a lot of new things.

1. My egotistical(should be testicular) bastard of a boss knows my name and also has a knack for telling me off for things which i have done correctly.

2. Asians adapt to foreign working lifestyle much faster, easier and way more independant than others

3. A 60 year old Aussie lecturer told me lies and is so conceited that he believes he's right.

4. The same Aussie lecturer doesn't understand how to assess group work and thus blamed the Asian culture for his fuckup

5. That i could tarnish someone 20 year teaching record by stating the correct way to assess an assignment

6. The more fucked up your boss is, the more you should keep quiet to piss the living fuck outta him.

fuck-wa

2008-11-23T08:31:00.004+08:00

Waking up and reading this sh*t early in the morning really makes one wonder how much more stupidity a country would enforce before being declared ludicrous. Read the Link

The National Fatwa Council's chairman Datuk Dr Abdul Shukor Husin noted that while merely doing the physical movements of yoga without the worshipping and chanting might not be against religious beliefs, Muslims should avoid practising it altogether as “doing one part of yoga would lead to another”.

*another case of shit for brains*

Goodbye Butch Cassidy

2008-09-28T09:39:00.002+08:00

Paul Newman 1925 - 2008

Of film coolness, salad dressings and auto racing; rest in peace hustler!

"I think an era just ended" - Daniel Craig

*image retrieved from http://www.gutteruncensored.com

ladies & gents, may i present ....

2008-09-05T22:33:00.005+08:00

Chinese are “immigrants” who do not deserve equal rights in Malaysia.

i feel sad for this man.
i actually feel pity.

that a fuckin ex-senator can have a such a narrow mind and shit for brains. our fuckin rights were not equal in the first place, dickhead!

a patch of green and the same ole treatment

2008-08-31T11:06:00.003+08:00

i'm going through a slight rough patch currently ... work related. my chest feels heavy thinking about 2 letters in my bag, stating my obvious disillusionment and general unhappiness at my work. i don't have plan B, which is not very clever. i think i've lost a lot of my passion and love for my profession or it just could be me in need of a break. the latter being an impossible task. my actions are now very guided by my emotions and it's looking very much to be my last semester @ cyberjaya.

on a separate note, i get the same treatment everywhere so this is nothing different. don't you just hate it when a cop asks you to move your vehicle but allows "others" to remain? anyway a cop is a cop, he carries a gun that determines i live or die and i carry a gun that brings life into this world. so there's really no argument there.

so happy Merdeka Malaysia!
it may be the same shit but it's still home.

when i was at the operating table ...

2008-08-10T09:14:00.006+08:00

i just saw an email attachment regarding SJMC hospital and the shit they do to patients on the operating table. all i can say, what the fuck!

the possibility of a rape happening to a patient under anesthetic is now reality; how fucking long has this been happening? we go to doctor to seek consultation on sickness, it seems it's the fucking doctors that need some curing.

motherfuckers!

on another note

goodbye bernie mac (1957 - 2008)
may you make GOD roll over in laughter, so that the world would be less frightening.

"The world just got a little less funny" - George Clooney.

sheeet can you believe this .....

2008-07-12T00:49:00.001+08:00

im in fucking singapore ... waiting in transit
to go to ......

fuckin botswana

AGAIN ....

that makes 3 within half a year.

Imagine

2008-06-23T18:53:00.004+08:00

imagine that i have a day off
imagine that i watch a movie
imagine that i didn't have lunch
imagine that i wanted to have lunch

imagine an academic so lazy, he doesn't wanna lift a finger
imagine an academic who doesn't know how to write modules
imagine an academic who depends on you to write his modules
imagine an academic who complains that you don't send your modules to him

imagine how did he become an academic
imagine why he is so lazy
imagine what he does in the office
imagine who they complain to

imagine that i have to rush his modules
imagine that he complained to the boss
imagine that i will have my size 10's up his arse
imagine that he is no buddy of mine

now ...

imagine i still had not have my lunch
imagine i finished 14 weeks of teaching notes for him
imagine that i finished it within 5 hours
imagine how the students will turn out
imagine what a stupid fucking dipshit he is
imagine i forgot to put in lazy to that

stupidfuckinglazydipshitmotherfucker

my eyes burn

2008-06-12T22:23:00.007+08:00

they burn when i see how long i haven't been writing nor updating. many remind me that life is not all meetings; but trying telling that to a tyrant.

nothing much has changed. though i would like a change but i may hold out for while. as a "so called" leader i've witness many feats and changes, none of which i was privy to 5 years ago. i've seen many facades, many whom i've come to know as friends.

i don't hate calculative people because i know everyone has priorities; i don't blame you if you want to earn RM6000 but with BIG $$ comes more responsibilities. Neither do i blame you if you feel that after 5pm is your time.

but fuckin hell ....

to complain daily into my plugs is a whole new fucking shithole. to whine day after day, year after year about why you have to teach 18 hours and not 16 hours; selective picking of your own modules; "my time begins after 5pm so don't disturb me" crap .... please. i've tried to accommodate but enough is enough.

you warn me about labour law, who the fuck cares about a law that doesn't give a shit about the workers. you wanna talk about labour law, go fucking ask them why they can't regulate all companies to declare Saturday's off because they can't. you say the regulation was put in place by the previous supervisor, well he's not in the picture any longer is he? so boo fuckin hoo ... besides he never documented the privilege, so if he had any balls whatsoever then he would have john hancocked but he didn't so stop fucking worshipping a dickhead who only had skirts in his mind. which probably explains why you had that privilege in the first place.

being fair to everyone is all i care about and if i have to take you out of your comfort zone then so be it. the moment you get comfortable, you complain so deal with it or fuck off! because you're a whiner, complainer and flat out spoilt with 'bling'ed out pampers.

grow up, you're already 35.

it's good to be back [round two]

2008-03-18T20:57:00.009+08:00

i've just landed back on home soil after 26 hours of flight time and 15 hours of transit. for once i can say, fuck it's good to be back home!

khartoum, sudan was an experience; it really was. one by the 2nd hour i was already begging to go home. let's see, i've seen anti aircraft guns at the airport but i can't take photos of it because the security law prevents me from doing that. i've seen a group of men sitting behind a pickup staring at us, i thought it was all fine till i saw his gun holster. military personnel walk the streets of khartoum carrying sawed AK-47's.

now how the fuck would that make me feel? ... i was ready to get the fuck outta there within the hour. nonetheless i shallowed and breathe shit loads of african sand to last 4 days. we landed on thursday (their official weekend starts on thursday & friday) had some food and slept off our jetlag because we had to fuckin go to the airport at 1am . had some broast chicken (yeah what is broast? it's like KFC but they call broast because it is cooked by a pressure fryer) for dinner at 930pm. the streets are already dead at 5pm, just dust and plastic bags flying around.

the next day turned out to be a real disaster, it was friday. no one worked in khartoum, no taxi drivers nothing because they were praying. so i had to settle for some gastric juices for at least 3 hours and wait for our pick up at 4pm. Right up until then i had decided maybe i didn't wanna be a part of this 4 day moderation team. So the reps from the other university comes and now everyone motherfucker wants to take us out. ok fine with that. so we ended up with an agent friend who graciously took us to the Nile river and some lamb dinner after.

The next couple of days was just work which neither of them knew what to prepare. So nevermind i've worked with dimwits before, this is nothing new.We settled everything by the Sunday but maybe they wanted to squeeze a little more publicity outta us. a little stardom in a foreign country doesn't hurt. what caught my attention was when the people in charge said, we need to plan something on monday for you guys.

the thoughts of national reserve came to my mind again. when i was in botswana, i really wanted to see wildlife at a game reserve. i mean i already in fucking afrika, im so close. but no candy. Unfortunately i might have to do the game reserve on my own because even the locals were afraid of seeing the lions, wilderbeast etc. sadness among many things came crashing down, after 3 days but it soon lit up as one mentioned," have you seen the pyramids?" holy fuckin high hell, you have pyramids in sudan?

i've always believe that in everyone's lifetime they should go see the pyramids, it's amazing how civilization could be so determined, intelligent and dedicated to build monuments that stood the test of time and recorded everything down using visuals. fucking amazing!

that night i was so fucking happy, i ate fish from the Nile river, got a littel sick but still determined to go for it. i didn't wanna leave Sudan with just memories of dust and plastic bags littering the city. it was a 2 hours ride in a VW Toureg and after a sore arse and sweltering heat.....

it isn't as monumental as egypt but hey i ain't complaining. that about sums up my experience in Sudan. the place itself is very fucking dusty and littered with plastic bags, it seems like a fucking plastic bag graveyard. The people are ok but you really need a guide who speaks arabic, without one you're as good as fucked because if you plan to stay more than 3 days you have to register with the police with 2 passport photos (and the cops don't speak english) failing to register means payment of USD45 at the immigration counter where they will hold you till 5 minutes of your flight (yes, not a good thing). without an arabic guide you can't pass through security checkpoints where you must clarify to them why you are leaving khartoum (in arabic) - the security officers are plain clothes and they carry guns.

money is a fucking hassle, airport tax is Sudanese Pound 45 and they will not accept any other currency. i begged them to accept the USD20 with a (about to cry face) you can do it. it's so fucking dusty that you nose will bleed and have a headache everytime you step out into the sun. so wear a hat and have lots of moisturising lotion on you. You're better off wearing slippers unless you want your white nike's to turn brown gradually.

The river Nile was great but i think i'd appreciate it more in Cairo. The pyramids was the highlight to breakup a fucked up journey back (i hate sitting by the window, where fat fucks like me need to go lavatory every 5 minutes).

would i go back?

.
..
...
....
.....

fuck NO!

salaam

2008-03-14T16:28:00.003+08:00

the day after in khartoum, woke up with a dizzying feeling, thought i was back home. dug my nose, pffftt it's all just sand. yes ladies & gentlemen, i am in a desert plain again.

there's not a whole lot of shit to do in khartoum,sudan; actually there's nothing to do. today is friday and it's their weekend and prayer day. so there's actually no one on the streets and it basically looks dangerous. it doesn't look like a war torn country but it sure is fucking dusty here. the airport has 3 AA guns pointing toward the sky (gee i wonder why?) - i have to take a picture of that later when i leave. though many said that you can't take pictures of bridges and the army base. hmm ok.

i had a glimmer of hope when a safari was mentioned (i've been to fucking afrika twice now and i haven't been to a safari) but alas a colleague was too chicken shit to see a lion in open space. so maybe we'll see the river nile later. pffft. fuck. and tonite will be a dance thingy to exorcise demons or something. umm im not actually looking forward to that.

there's nothing to eat here except chicken, so im probably gonna be eating a whole lotta chickens.

reporting from doha, qatar

2008-03-13T12:55:00.002+08:00

here i am in doha

what a 7 hours it was and now i have to wait another 7 hours for the flight to khartoum.

things here are super expensive. i mean really expensive. do they think everyone is a oil baron?

here i go again

2008-03-12T19:32:00.002+08:00

i'm off to khartoum, sudan at 4am today.
geez, barely half the year gone and i've been to afrika twice

students have been scaring me; "oh you're going to sudan ...good luck man!"
err why do i need luck, again?

colleagues have been scaring me; "eh make sure when you're walking and you see a woman, look away!"
why?
"cos you're either gonna come back with a wife or not come back at all"

oh fuck shit!

anyway too late for anything now ... so wish me luck

if i don't update the blog ...
you get what i mean ...

People Change .... for better or for worse

2008-02-26T21:24:00.008+08:00

i must admit, people change. i have.

after time, most will. i can't stay the fucking same as i did in my teens. anyway the question is whether we are changing for the better or for worse.

i watched first hand how someone i've trained and hoped would take over my role when i left for new zealand turn into someone i completely did not recognise at all. of course that person would say the same about me but like i said everyone changes.

the cardinal rule when working for people is to not be emotional about people because it will ultimately affect your decision; more so when you are in a managerial position. "Learn to forgive and forget" said my boss at Yamaha because after the 11,000th grudge you can hardly remember the first one. But some just never let go till the very day of leaving. i've seen it happen to twice now, once to a hypocritical shite pretending to be from aussie and now a sulking "i'm never wrong" friend & colleague.

i feel sorry ... saddened actually because the person was a whole lot more. it's easy to sit back and be led BUT the true test is when you have to lead by example. to lead with emotion, such biasness,vindication ... i truly am sorry that it came to what it did.

My dear friend ...
how arrogant and proud you have become
filled with admiration for the wrong one
words filled with poison chalice
eventhough it's at the office
how you wish i was kurang ajar
maybe you should look at yourself from a far

this cannot, that cannot .. how la?
oops i forgot you are never wrong mah
decisions made always buat you marah
that is why you are nicknamed anelka!

you thank me for the eye opener, you are most welcome. "some people go through life never knowing who they are" said a friend. i wonder what could have been but i will not miss your sulking. goodbye!

frantic days

2008-01-24T16:36:00.000+08:00

11 hours and 45 minutes of flight time + 6 hours of transit time, i'm back in malaysia. o lordy lordy lordy. what an experience. not only did i get up at the wrong time during the last day, i almost missed my flight thanks to the Vietnamese. All 9 of us got up at 530am to catch the flight from Gaborone to Johannesburg, of all to have problem yours truly had to have his ticket unconfirmed, but confirmed at 10am.

ok so i thought fuckin hell! i could be sleeping now. then WHAM it hit me, fucking hell i could be stuck here for another day! FUCCCCCCCCCKKKK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i swear you could hear me scream eventhough my mouth didn't open. i guess the other 8 saw my expression and offered to buy breakfast for me. as the last 8th member of the faculty walked out into the heavy pouring rain on the de havilland (the plane with propellers on its side), i cursed under my breath ... maybe i was too quick to curse as i knew this wasn't going to be an easy flight check in for me.

i had planned to get souvenirs for the rest at johannesburg, if all works well i would have an hour to do so. so i spend 2 hours talking about the office to 2 drivers. even then at 930am, i was still having problems with my e-ticket (mental note to everyone travelling to bots, fuck the e-ticket)so i got on, smell reeking from my underarms due to panic. of all seats, i get the jump seat where you have 29 fuckers looking directly at you, as you are the only one seated facing them, thats why it's the jump seat, anything happens you jump first.

so i land at johannesburg, and i go into what i term as an african night market, the place is so fucking packed, you can hardly see any signs. so i get to the SIA counter at 1145pm, only 4 or 5 people in front of me, not too bad i thought ..... except all 4 or them were holding group check ins for a vietnamese tour group so in actual fact i had 40 people in fron of me. SHIT there goes my 1 hour shopping time, actually that never came to mind but this did "if i miss the flight because of these vietnamese,i swore i will personally make some of them lose more than an arm". As the african frantically tells them, "english????" they go "cindy?" "cindy" who the fuck is cindy? After fidgetting from 1210 till 1245, i got my ticket in less than 5 mins. as i ran up the stairs, you could literally put a tap under my arms.

as i reached the gate A11, i saw the rest of the 8 smirking, "dumela" they said and all i could mutter was, i'm going to fucking kill the viets. so i didn't get anything for anyone, between getting on a flight back home and buying stuff for people, i choose coming home.for the newly wed couple sitting next to me on the flight, im really sorry about the pungent smell from my underarms, i usually don't recycle my shirts except when my university insists on my fucking luggage weight to carry robes back.

for all the fucked up things that happenned to me - going to gaborone, a fucke dup flight route and the last fiasco. im not reporting to work for at least 3 days.

un-easy 3 days

2008-01-17T21:01:00.000+08:00

the next 3 days is going to be fucked up. my personal feeling is people here are too fucking relaxed and yet "the man" says we have to learn from them. what the fuck? they hardly lift a finger, and work at their own pace. so we have to learn from them?

or was it maybe we have to learn to relax like them?

... fuck i doubt it, my arse still smarts from yesterday's lashing.

i want to go home!

Dumela

2008-01-14T17:15:00.000+08:00

greetings from botswana

land of tender steaks, jumbo pork ribs and electric fences to keep robbers out

two o o eight

2008-01-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

the transition from 7 to 8, hmm what was i doing? umm sleeping.

yeah i had been in singapore since the 29th and i do what most travelers do when on holiday. relax. and the new year isn't any different. so happy new year 2008 to all loyal readers; before i bored you with my resolutions; here's a little something i wanna share with some singaporeans.

when i visited your country in 2005, i had been shockingly jeered at because i didn't stand on the fucking left when i traveled up your MRT escalator. Fast forward to 2007, is it me or does every singaporean don't give a shit about that rule anymore? but it can't be? you guys are singaporeans, no chewing gum! no rubbish! the cleanest city in asia! you guys obey rules! what happened?

i love singapore! despite the brick and mortar, the concrete jungle; people mind their own fucking business. everyone walks fast and listens to portable mp3 players just to pass time. this is why i love singapore, no one gives a shit about you. walk around shirtless with 2 full sleeves, no one gives a shit! take off your top and expose your boo .... whoaaa there tiger! bottomline is i like singapore because the people are like the concrete jungle - still & emotionless

my resolution for this year is not give a shit about things/people that irritate me. i've been too nice to people who take comfort in knowing that i will never say no. i've been too patient with products that have outlived its function.

so what does the new year bring?
.
..
...
....
.....
an unwanted trip to botswana.

lemme rip up my resolution and start again. fuckin hell.

when fitness become a sales pitch?

2007-12-27T17:20:00.000+08:00

where do i find a gym where there is no fucking sales pitch?
in malaysia ...
in klang valley ...
in PJ ...

the answer is none.
actually there is .... my old gym on top of restoran pelita.

gone are the days where one can actually walk into a gym, workout and be left alone without a sales person asking you if you want to sign up for extra 3 years. the definition of fitness is the the state of health and well being; since fuckin when did it become a lifestyle? that's what everyone tries to sell to me, i'm not selling you a gym membership, i'm selling you a lifestyle. BIG FUCKING DEAL, the last time i looked up the dictionary it says my state of well being not "lifestyle" baby. At the rate this is going, i'd rather be a couch potato and fat, fuck exercising if i have to put up with sales hounds constantly pushing.

it's unfair to the people who really want to get fit or sweat, i personally hate the fact that after my workout with my trainer, he has to try and sell to me. he's a great fuckin guy and as much as i would like to help him, i can't. not everyone can pay a RM300 a month for membership and another RM300 for training and on top of that before your training sessions are even halfway they have to poke you for more. i understand there is a quota to meet but guys seriously money don't grow on trees neither does it increase like the rate fat does in my body.

im just a 35 year old trying to lose some flab and be fit, im not looking for a lifestyle because i already have one - sitting at home watching dvds. i just wanna go to a gym, workout and feel that im healthier at the end of the day. is that so fucking hard?

boxing day 07

2007-12-26T09:37:00.000+08:00

i seem to have a habit of updating the blog in the beginning of the month and end of the month. what the hell is wrong with me? it's probably because i don't have any days off in between (hint hint, nudge nudge mr. kok wing).

another year has passed, i didn't see much progress on my part, i seem to be stuck in a rut since coming back but it's ok, a slave to a wage is way better than staring at four walls without a wage. here are my reflections of the year before i forget them all:

#1. things are never what they seem. when i was abroad i was so homesick that all i could think of was coming back home, even if it meant sacrificing a good job. i questioned myself profusely day & night regarding the conditions back home and reassured myself that i could do it. * mental note to self - think about it. i love working in NZ but to be truthful it wasn't going to go anywhere, i would have been too comfortable and would have eventually craved for excitement elsewhere.

#2. no regrets. though i may bitch about coming back, but i don't regret it. the good outweigh the bad but being human beings we can't stop but to compare. yes, i do remember the easy life abroad, i do remember important people in my life but people come and go, partnerships float apart and some things are just not meant to be. if everyone knew their destiny, where would be the fun?

#3. self importance. i take better care of myself now. i make it a point to go for resistance training every 3 days in a week. So much so, my niece asks why are you going exercising so late? i go to the gym at 930 for the 10pm session and finish about midnite. i think i've reached the point where i MUST realise that im no longer 25 but 35 and the years of rebelliousness must now be replaced with years of wary. it's good to now not say, i'm round because im prosperous OR i smoke because i don't have a reason to stop. the excuses (i use and many others use) will always be excuses, i choose to not have anymore excuses.

as i get ready for next year's mess, i think i've overcome significant obstacles; there will be more that's for sure, i just hope it isn't anything compared to this year. but then again where would be the fun aye*?

* goddamn kiwi slang rearing its ugly head

cinema enforcers

2007-12-01T18:35:00.000+08:00

i came back from the cinema last night seething not because hitman was a let down but more the fat fuck sitting next to me. believe it or not there are so called "cinema purists" or rather cinema enforcers all around the world; to me they are just anal motherfuckers who do not know the definition of a public cinema or hoping to strike 3 gazillion dollars so that they can build their own backyard cinema.

cinema enforcers are fuckers who are on the look out for people disturbing them during the course of the screening, this can be snoring from 2 rows below or above, screaming girls on the left or light from a mobile. i had the unfortunate encounter with one fat motherfucker next to me. Arms folded like he owned the place, moving his big ass frame against the chair just so you know he's fucking uncomfortable. i got news for you pal, i'm just as uncomfortable as you but i dont make a fuss.

so i answered a few text messages, not calls, SMSes ... and lo and behold this fat face in front of me asking "can you please switch off you phone? are you here to watch or to play with your phone?" i know that i am in the wrong and i am but dude, did your mother teach you any fucking manners at all? or did that last burger clog your fucking blood flow to you brain? all you had to do was to ask nicely but no ... so i stared back, confused and puzzled at how a big man like him had such a small pea brain. As bad as he smells, i turned my attention to the film, not wanting to cause a scene.

an hour into the film, his friend was snoring 2 seats away, he propped up and gave the guy a slap. Soon after there were whispers, his friend was talking on the phone, again he propped up but his fat arse prevented him from reaching over. dude, doing that will at least burn 0.01 calorie, believe me it will do your heart good.

not only in malaysia, chloe and me in Aotearoa had the same experience. We were watching "tokyo drift" when an inconsiderate enforcer told chloe to control her laughter because it was disruptive. hello? we're laughing at the film not you! The enforcers not only operate at the cinemas but i got told off during a seminar by madam "im a better designer than you". So discussing about the topic is also prohibited; isn't a seminar 2-way?

so the morale of the story is, we normal citizens and avid movie goers are only supposed to enjoy the movie or a seminar by not moving an inch, frozen like fucking ice and quiet like a sleeping baby (without snoring of course)

go buy your own cinema you fat fuck sitting at GSC MIDVALLEY CINEMA 11 ROW B SEAT 8, you stupid insensitive fuck face.

screw you tiny bladder

2007-11-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

the only thing shittier than sitting in a jam when your house is just 15 minutes away is .....

"sitting in a jam with a full bladder when your house is just 15 minutes away. admittedly i must concur that i have the smallest fucking bladder, my mass defi'fuckin'nitely does not reflect the size of my bladder. the feeling of holding on to your piss is fuckin atrocious, i had to stretch my leg out to the floorboard, fidget, bite my knuckles to keep the tap locked.

In the morning, 1 cup of water and 1 cup of milo will only take 15 minutes before the dam reaches it's capacity. it could be a defect in life or it could just plainly be that i was traumatised by the uncles telling me that if you held your piss, most likely kidney stones will develop. The thought of a little pebble trying to squeeze itself out via your piss hole was enough to make me shudder. my dad described it as the most fuckin - fuckinnnnnnnn pain experience (though most mothers would say that child birth out'fuckin' beats kidney stones anytime). i .... am not going to risk finding that out.

so it's time to keep an empty bottle handy in the car .... for those unexpected delays. just hope my passengers or me won't mistake it for mountain dew.

surely the 1st in KL?

2007-10-30T22:15:00.001+08:00

this car was spotted at Giant Hypermarket Kelana Jaya on Sunday 3pm. if you hadn't notice it's a bloody 2008 mitsubishi evo X, umm how can we have a 2008 model in 2007? well ask the singaporeans, because it's a singaporean car. hah

i've also updated my wishpoo to a more sensible wish. actually affordable is more like it.

Oh snap!

2007-10-08T19:19:00.000+08:00

it was bound to happen. unfortunately it happens every world cup. no no no im not talking about football im talking about rugby. all birdpoo readers know my disdain for rugby and the only reason why i would write about it is because the much beloved all blacks (no im not being racist)from new zealand choked and got beaten by a slim margin from the frenchies. kiwis don't take it too hard, ya? it's only a game. it's the equivalent of the faroe islands winning the fifa world cup (no offense people of faroe islands) but here are a couple of hints on how to be a really sore loser.

1. Blame the referee. im happy to see most of the kiwis have already done that.

2. Spell the team that beat you wrongly in your local daily just to take the piss outta them!

3. have readers do a post mortem so that other people can take shots at the ref only to have a flaming exercise.

4. setup a group in facebook to condemn his existence

5. if all else fails, keep blaming the ref.

"Sadly we are a dumb rugby nation, we don't play the big matches well.We were a bunch of boofheads. On the big occasions we choke." - Murray Deaker

2007-09-13T21:32:00.000+08:00

i don't know why this keeps playing in my mind?

INT - OFFICE
characters:
the boss
the fat daughter named DD (the size of her hunas)
a shorty named umm shorty

BOSS: who do you think you are? i've never seen people so lazy. you are supposed to be doing your job
SHORTY: yeah! you stupids.
DD: you are fuckin stupid. i'm not going to mind my french because i think that i can speaking vous le vous.
BOSS: are you stupid? Answer me?

ME: (getting worked up but keeps quiet)
SHORTY: say something la. stupid
DD: do you fuckin think you can speak?

ME: No, i don't think i'm stupid as a matter of fact i think you are stupid!
SHORTY, BOSS, DD: how dare....
ME: Before you say anything dumber, let me finish. i think im special and if you think that by calling people stupid makes you intelligent, then you're more stupid than i thought.
DD: muthafucker show some respect
ME: shut the fuck up skank! and no im not going to pardon my french because i dont fucking know french.
DD: (whimpers)daddy he called me a ....
BOSS: apologise NOW!
SHORTY: you ...

(holds one finger against SHORTY's head)
ME: when have you said sorry to any of us? never. let me say what everyone at this table wants to say but doesn't have the cajones to do so. The only reason why you get away with everything is we pamper you. So i am refusing to pamper you because you are not GOD! if you think you are GOD, i got something to tell you. YOU ARE NOTHING without the people working under you. So it's about fucking time you treat everyone right.

BOSS: YOU WILL SPEAK TO ME WITH RESPECT!!!!!
ME: respect is earned not instructed. you can instruct your lap dogs all you want. you ever instruct me again, i will rip you another arsehole.

(walks away but not before giving SHORTY a slap in his face)

damn charcoals

2007-09-10T21:36:00.000+08:00

driving back in a dark unlit single lane highway(don't ask), and also ran over 2 foh tan's aka tau yuns. fucking idiots were talking to each other side by side, no lights, black shirts, shows how stupid them fuckers are.

they could talk @ the coffeeshop
they could talk @ the bus stop
they could talk on the phone

but no they had to talk in the middle of the fucking road.

shows you really have shit for brains when you need to talk to your friend in the middle of the road, during peak hour traffic and about 10 cars slowing down just to avoid laying down some fresh charcoal (if you catch my drift)

thank you mr bay & mr spielberg

2007-07-23T19:46:00.000+08:00

need i say more?

i'm really glad i saw this in my lifetime. i thought i saw the last of optimus when he perished, left behind the wake of crying fans (yes i was one of them). starscream seemed much quieter, oh he doesn't have that annoying voiceover anymore.

"freedom is the right of all sentient beings"

777

2007-07-07T16:54:00.000+08:00

on a auspicious day like this one, i find it funny that i have no sense of urge to do anything.

on the work side of things, might i add that i do not work anymore but attend meetings. i feel very fucking un-productive and not worthy of my MA award. Although i'm still being professional to the very sense of the word i feel i may be dis-illusioned to the point that i thought i used my knowledge in meetings, but im just an empty shell.

i feel the need to alert all you fuckers with cheap xenon lights, you guys are a fucking dickheads! i have been blinded by the likes of a kelisa, Myvi, Vios and as of yesterday a fucking kancil. Who are we kidding here? it improves the driving visibility, for fucks sake read the fine print; it says for countries with icy conditions. The fucking closest thing to ice on Malaysian roads is sheffield united winning the EPL; it may happen but for now it all counts for shite. So please let's just all go back to yellow lights.

did anyone see where i left my brain? ..... oh yeah it's still in the fucking conference room. shite.

obstacles

2007-06-06T11:30:00.000+08:00

it really fucking funny, how when u are rushing - obstacles seem to be to everywhere. the traffic lights seem to be longer, and it's always red, of all cars to stall it's the one in front of you, the toll gate you are at doesn't work for that particular moment in time, or the route you have chosen has changed for no apparent reason.

whatever the obstacle you face, it's sure better than fuckers thinking signalling left or right gives him/her the right to swerve into your lane, eventhough you're by the side.

i'm sorry

2007-05-16T20:59:00.000+08:00

i have a lot of things to be sorry for; on the way to work this rainy morning, i realised that the president of the university i work at has never uttered the word 'sorry' during my current tenure of 5 years. that's a whole shitload of years. one might say he has nothing to be sorry about and those who actually know him or dealt with him would say he's too egotistical to even apologise.

his common words are 'worthless','lazy','buggers' used to describe us for any fuckin problem the university encounters. hardly encouraging words to people who, if i may so egotistically say makes the university. So why am i still there or how did i decide to return? i'm happy to say this will be my last gig, this is my trump card and any opportunity for me to switch - i will. memories will be memories, etched in time. now it is time to move on.

how can one be so lowly regarded when the core people at a university are the academics? when the university becomes a business then we are but worker ants working mindlessly to appease. when quality is sacrificed for quantity. when grades do not matter anymore.

fortunately i'm sorry that i do not live in his dark world of eccentricity. neither of us do.

WARNING [name_change]

2007-04-01T14:09:00.000+08:00

i can't seem to understand a common growing trend occurring near me, or rather in KL actually at work to be precise. [name_changes] that is. umm a couple of years back, feng shui was getting really outta hand people were changing their names from debbie to gloria(supposedly to signify being outta debt and into glory ..pffft yeah big fuckin help the name change did for her) and heidi to summer (don't know if she's actually warmer now). The main thing to question here is how can you change your name? isn't your name a signifier for identity or does it not mean anything anymore? does it all mean i can change my name every month. "i wanna be called judas this month because i'm in a bitchy backstabbing mood?" one should invent a magic 8 ball to predict a mood and name for every day of the week; a normal version with common names and one specially for the HK/SG/MY market with names like fignon, effiel, stanforncious, gayles(i kid you not!), winchester .... the list goes on.

what's the price of your identity?

demons be driven

2007-03-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

time to dust off the cobwebs and start contributing to everyday blogging again. life is currently at the transition stage; i haven't gotten to grips that i started work so early (i should have BUMMED for another 2-3 months though my financial advisor will not agree with my decision). I have yet to get comfortable with waking up at 7.20am so i set my alarm at 7.22am but usually crawl out of bed at 7.30am (big fucking deal it made). i am not used to the evening rain traffic jams (though i am used to switching lanes without indicating) but enough about me ranting and back to today's subject -> demons. the title is taken from a Pantera song about personal demons, mos of us have one or two or possibly a closet full.

what brought this up was a reflection of my growing up phase during one of those non moving traffic crawls from sunway toll to the SS3 turn off. i have done a shitload of things that would make my maker weep buckets. from narcotics to stealing to being a pesky nuisance on the road. i don't proclaim to be an angel because i'm not and i doubt any of us are (except mother teresa), i m sure all of us have done things we weren't proud of, conveniently swept under rug somehow, someway. it's an experience for me, somehow many are going yeah all fucking junkies say that but the only reason why i was so dependant on narcotics was because i couldn't stop; i saw no reason to stop.

So why did i stop? because i wanted to. not because doctors kept telling me that smoking weed will fuck up my brain. i just decided one day to stop. same thing i did for smoking. cold turkey. was in denial and withdrawal for 2 weeks. the reason why i never started again was, that 2 weeks was the most agonising pain i've felt (actually scratch that to the 2nd most agonising pain, the honours of 1st belongs to shingles) i never want to go through that again, ever. the shakes, the dryness of the throat and the mental trickery & fatigue [it's only 1 stick - resistance is futile - 1 stick only mah - 1 stick and i'll quit tomorrow]. i have a pretty high threshold of willpower but the mental trickery of second guessing yourself [asking yourself questions] is something i can't beat till today.

So i've driven one demon away, soon maybe others [lies & deception, anger, the list goes on] all for journey to be a better person, the question is will i enjoy being a better person?

cough cough ahem cough koff koff

2007-03-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

i swear that in NZ i hardly (actually never fell sick) i thought my good fortune would be extended back in KL, unfortunately it didn't last past CNY. started to feel a small lump on the throat, at first i dismissed it as a simple mistake of swallowing a chilli but it became more coarse day after day. so ok, sore throat the beginning of the trifecta, but it went away. oh yay! yay aye yay! ...koff koff ..ah HAKKKK...chak ..hak i was fucking wrong. man was i fucking wrong.

* so fuck the tenth thousand person sneezing at work, you fucking virus spreader!

velvetine dreams

2007-02-24T22:56:00.000+08:00

so what's the fuss about zouk? and velvet?

zouk's too populated and very very beng-ish as i expected. i didn't last very long in there before retreating to the loungy boutique of velvet. not that i can't stand loud music but it was to "feng tau" for someone without the aid of "e" or current pop substance paraphernalia. it smells of fuckin sampoerna/gudang garam and believe me it's not the 6 swigs of johnnie talkin. the bass line in there is best simulated by putting your head into a cement mixer, it's much cheaper and you'll get 'stoned' eventually.

i lasted incredibly long at velvet mostly gawking at women amidst the haze of cigarette smoke and bouncy 18/22 year olds. the thing is you're not entirely sure if they are 25 or 52 when moving seductively on the dance floor. there is nothing to do except look at women dancing. actually what is there to do at a club? besides drinking, bouncing up & down, vomitting your dinner and waking up at the restroom. it's called s-o-c-i-a-l-i-s-a-t-i-o-n, 35-year olds call it the fountain of youth. this was clearly illustrated with a man twice my age, demonstrating to the younger generation the art of saliva exchange. he made me feel uncomfortable yet for the younger crowd even worse; a hit in the face ensued, the "she with me because of the Maserati parked at VVIP", what? you didn't she was going to crawl into your wira, did you?

the drinks with new friends is great but i maybe be tiring from boredom because i might be able to afford my own maserati .... soon. considering if i do still have a job.

2007-02-17T10:38:00.000+08:00

it's been awhile hasn't it, almost 3 weeks since i got back actually 3 weeks of doing nothing. ahh the life. so what's in stall for my birdwatchers today, the same as usual - no nothings and the usual bird shit that plops on your windscreen right after you washed your car.

//1
i've decided not to go for muse after watching a few kiddies singing "starlight" when most of them hardly knew them a year ago but that's the music industry. i'm happy for muse, but at the same time i do not want to be stuck in an environment where i'm at the centre of discussion, "eh look at that uncle, trying to be young konon listening to muse" .... celakers if only they knew that muse has been around during "uncle's" time of 1998. So it should be the other way around, "eh look at that kiddo, trying to be matured konon listening to muse".

//2
im still jobless for the moment, well i'm not complaining because i choose to be unemployed for the time being. will i be working, some say yes - most are convinced that i'm be back in the workforce on 1st March, which seems pretty surprising because i don't even know when i'm going back to work.

//3
the hand of death (which usually applies to my luck with computers ONLY in KL) is back. i've destroyed my 250GB Western Digital harddisk whilst trying to see why it wouldn't start up on my mac. NOTE: when you see smoke coming out from the HDD case, it's a bad sign! then when i try to use an IDE harddisk next to my RAID ATA, sometimes it appears, sometimes it disappears; so fuck all this shit.

//4
i find myself driving like a madman, when one would have thought i changed in NZ, hah fat chance. no signals, cutting in, speeding, no give ways, ballsy roundabout maneuvers. i feel i'm home.

// im sure i have a lot more shit to write once the black parade comes to town.

torrent mi miaho

2007-02-02T17:38:00.000+08:00

i was worried that i couldn't resume my exploits in the torrent space in Malaysia due to wikipedia passing TMNET as a bad ISP for torrents. it isn't half as bad, i can finish 4 tv series within a day an half so for me it isn't half as bad. better than i expected.

driving in malaysia is still aa furious as ever, i haven't as yet driven into KL but i'm getting the give way rule, roundabout signalling and obeying speed limit outta my system. this no place for sissies on the road.

the heat is bearable, i haven't sweat buckets yet but spending 45 minutes at JPJ was almost there, luckily i wasn't in office attire. right now im a little outta my element and i need to look for a 19" flat panel LCD so that i can fire up my G4 dual processor.

back in black

2007-01-29T12:21:00.000+08:00

hokay, what a weekend it was. i hardly unpacked and it's off to parties, i haven't even managed to sort of new boxers, actually im still wearing the one on the plane from Auckland back to KL. the suitcase lock is untouched and still in sitting comfortably at the corner of my room.

it is good to be back. the atmosphere is different, i almost forgot how to party! but after a few swigs of black label & green tea (yes, i'd never dreamt the day i switched from No.7 or chivas to Johnnie) but i have to say cockroach tea is nice or rather after one bottle, it's sweeter than strawberries. met with some yahoo malaysia and rapp collins people, am i going back to the industry? maybe but highly unlikely.

the jet lag is still affecting my sleep pattern and after 2 or more years, the 5am singing did not do any justice. i am slowly adapting back to life but other that it's really good to be back.

poroporoaki aotearoa

2007-01-26T05:23:00.000+08:00

i sit here and im thinking what to write for this part of the journey end, as i fight with my every brain cell to cure this writers block, i start remembering the first day i came to aotearoa, and i look out towards the ocean from apartment 13H, the sky is still as blue, the air is still as fresh and the drivers are still as fucked up.

i don't know what i feel; i feel nostalgic, sad, happy, miserable all bundled into one. for once i have no idea what is ahead, pitch black and mysterious. it seemed like only yesterday i began my MA and swearing that about BIG words used. now it's over, it almost feels sort of empty. i want this to be a memory, i want this to be immortalised, i want this to help me remember when i'm old and senile.

1. your first asian meal is ...
fong mei @ meadowlands for beef noodles
kingston noodle house @ meadowlands for beef tendon noodles

2. you can only buy pork from ...
pork & poultry @ botany downs where you ask for the aunty from Johor Baharu because she gives you better cuts.

3. you buy groceries from ...
pak n save @ botany downs because you can get fuel discounts

4. you get gourmet burgers from ...
burgerfuel @ parnell because they serve whopping burgers which makes you fucking fat.
you can also try burger wisconsin event hough i haven't tried it.

5. you buy cheap cds from ...
real groovy @ queen street because they have loads of cheapie bins with indie labels for $1.

6. you become a tourist ...
visiting the arataki centre @ waitakere reserves, muriwai beach for the magnetic sand, piha beach for the superb surf, one tree hill to see auckland's skyline, mission bay to look at a packed beach, take a ferry to waiheke island.

7. you go to the $10 haircut bar on Queen ...
because they only take 20 minutes to cut your hair, number 4 all around and half off the top.

8. your first steak ...
has to be @ Angus steak house on Albert Street because you're a meat lover and the steak was gianormous

9. always take ...
the city circuit because it's free and it roams around the city

10. i will ...
miss auckland's 4 season weather in a day and i will miss all those who know me in aotearoa.

farewell land of the long white cloud, i will be back 2015 to renew my driving license.

haere rä kaketei ano.

3 days more but who's counting?

2007-01-23T04:20:00.000+08:00

current addictions
-the tears (brett andersen + bernard butler back together for awhile)
-the good, the bad & the queen (damon albarn's project with paul (the clash), simon (the verve) and tony (afrobeat/africa70)

with 3 days more i'm feeling pretty excited but sad that i'll be missing calexico, eagles of death metal and slayer with mastodon. but i might try to make it for the pixies gig in Sydney (damn it's the pixies!! just to see frank black & kim deal). Although i will catch Muse in KL on February, anyone else going or remotely interested?

im thinking of doing a photoblog for the next entry, lemme think about it.

new additions to the ipod

2007-01-17T04:41:00.000+08:00

we are scientists
peter bjorn & john
i'm from barcelona
the futureheads
morningwood
bloc party
damone
the new pornographers
the editors
shout out louds

i had wanted to go see CSS or cansei de ser sexy from Brazil @ kings arm last week but realise that i wasn't much into powerpop. kasabian is playing the studio tonight though. shoot the runner shoot shoot the runner!

currently ....

2007-01-14T16:37:00.000+08:00

listening to:
mew

addicted to and watching:
heroes
blade the series

waiting for:
MA changes
the move back home
prison break, lost, heroes to resume the season

dreading:
the heat in malaysia
slow p2p on tmnet

doing ....
nothing

why i do not dislike flash

2007-01-13T09:50:00.001+08:00

over the years, since 2000 actually; the software program macromedia flash (now adobe) has been under attack by html purists, old skoolers, usability junkies etc harping on the fact that the program is too chunky for the internet, doesn't abide by web standards (if any), no proper integration with backend blah blah blah. so here's a story why i use flash and will continue to use flash.

+the curse of the intro+ every web surfers dreaded nightmare but why is it still so popular? because not everyone is a web designer or developer concerned with loading times and data caps. the fact is consumers and people in general love to see things moving so much so it has become a norm when surfing (aka the visual experience). I agree that there are some horrendous introductions out there, which is always used to crucify talented flash designers. everyone needs to start somewhere, i look back at my first flash designs, i'm not ashamed of it because thru the years i've made mistakes as a rookie and improved, making it smaller and smaller every time. Learning is important in this industry and if by learning i get crucified by others then so be it. I'd rather learn to be better than to stay stagnant at one point. So why are introductions important? because narrative is fast becoming the next experience, we are past audio and visual experiences online, now every website should sell and tell a story.

+full flash sites+ html/coding junkies love to harp on the fact that full flash sites are useless. true. i agree. only when it is designed wrongly. flash isn't the same bloated piece of crap offered in version 4/5; the level of backend support and scripting capabilities if offers now is enough to make flashaters blush. This means the company is listening and providing with every upgrade, better and better integration. So is full flash sites bad? yes! the word now is integration - exploit the strength of flash (interactivity ....) and integrate into html. pick up your classifiedds and look into job specifications today, look at what skill sets are required. again, if you do not move along with technology, then you're probably staring down at extinction.

the age old battle +director vs. flash+ why do some people like macs and hate PC's and vice versa. same question, no answers. if you still seriously think that director is suitable for the web, then welcome to the 90's. i think this is a question of familiarisation, i am in a similar position - i totally cannot connect with 3D, simply because i am refusing to think in 3d space. the problem is me! not the software, not the rest of the designers. "i simply cannot grasp the concept of 3d" again the problem is me. So when you start critising and blurt out, director is better than flash, is it you? or the software? "director can do so much more than flash", it could mean no one ever showed you how to do it in flash or weren't bother to make it flash because you're familiar with how to do it another way.

i know a lot of purists will be knocking on my door but maybe it's time to get off that comfortable couch, dive into unchartered waters and learn to swim again.

about bands

2007-01-07T18:42:00.001+08:00

currently pluggin'

+ mew
+ band of horses
+ yo la tengo
+ eagles of death metal
+ tv on the radio
+ the thermals
+ youth group
+ killing joke
+ mastodon
+ mission of burma
+ probot
+ rolling stones
+ david bowie
+ motorhead
+ ted nugent